Kageyama's Queen of the School [Kageyama Tobio]

[27] Painful Reality

By now, it was just about expected for my back to start to ache. I felt it— just above my tailbone— and frowned, knowing what was about to come. No one really talked about how the sideline benches were hard on your behind, and on your back. Only the experienced can prepare for it, that much I could tell by the way Coach Ukai lifted himself up just enough to show me that he had a nice fold of towels underneath his bottom to give him some cushion against the wooden benches. He flashed me a smile and I chose to refocus on the original task.

I kept moving around, trying to find a way to relieve tension. I jostled to the left. I crossed my legs and leaned to the right. I shifted a bit more, hoping that by focusing on Tobio as he jogged back to his spot on the court, it would blur out the pain that was spreading throughout my lower back. Instead, it earned me an elbow to the rib from Ukai.

"Oi" he snapped as I whined, "stop drooling over your boyfriend."

"Th-That is not what I was doing!" I exclaimed, crossing my arms. He scoffed, not believing me, but choosing to look back at the game regardless. My frown deepened when I saw the score that I'd been neglecting because of my discomfort. Just now, Tobio had tried to pull off another setter-dump, but Oikawa blocked it without a problem-- not because it was poorly executed, but because Tobio's plays were starting to become predictable. He was probably letting Oikawa get into his head. Toto had a knack for doing that to people.

A head of orange bouncing my way made me turn and Hinata waved, his sweat flying off from his unmanageable hair in every direction. He'd switched out for Nishinoya-San.

"We're killing them, huh?" Hinata asked me, hopping in place with such a fire in his eyes that it kept me from announcing the painful score that proved otherwise. They were killing us. I sighed and put on a brave smile. If I'd learned anything from being with the boys is that no one broke our spirit.

"The game's not over yet, Tomo-Chan," he continued, taking a sip from the cold water-bottles Kiyoko-San had gotten, "They're strong, but so are we."

I nodded, watching the game as I responded. "It's not over until the ball drops, just stick to your duty."

He laughed, and I looked up at him.

"You said duty," he chuckled before being called to run back in. For a brief moment, I was stunned at how only the unintentional immature homophone of my message got through to him. Then, I realized that it was probably for the best, because his good sense of humor had given him enough spirit to go for another quick attack.

"Yes!" Ukai exclaimed under his breath, fist rising. I let out a breath, a sigh of relief that I didn't know I was holding in as Sawamura-Kun patted Hinata on the back for his spike. Granted, it'd almost gotten blocked, but it was still a point. My eyes shifted to Aoba Johsai. They'd already caught up and were getting ready to leave us behind in the dust. My shoulders tensed as I realized I was letting pessimism get to me. I was fumbling to keep myself from accepting the loss early. It was just a habit of mine after so many years of using it as a coping strategy. I never realized to what extent that mental construction overlayed into.

I couldn't let my own anxieties flow into the team's morale. And yet, the tension in the air increased as the points for Aoba Johsai were won. If it wasn't a kill, it was a dig. They were fast, and always a step ahead of us now that Tooru could read the crazy duo like a Volleyball Monthly magazine. It was starting to mess with our confidence. That much was clear when Tobio went up to serve and messed up his timing. I visibly flinched with him as the gym realized it was short tossed. Tobio stumbled to save it, just enough, just barely so that he could get it over the net, only for it to be rocketed back at us, leaving us losing at 7-13. To my right, Yamaguchi winced.