four alarm fire // matty healy

Suck My Left One

The detour of dropping off Matty and then taking the train back home added another 45 minutes onto my route home. I didn't mind and I was careful not to smudge the writing underneath my jacket sleeve.

I got to the last stop on the line and exited with the five other people in the car with me. Hanging back a bit, I double checked my arm. My fingers traced across the black ink. It was still in tact, even the kisses underneath. XX.

Once the station had cleared out, I dipped into the loo near the exit. It was disgusting, which is why I only used it to keep a pair of wire cutters in the false ceiling. They were small enough to smuggle into my jacket and I stepped confidently into the empty station again. When I reached the bike stand, I had a choice between a tall matte black one and a shorter, cherry red one. I opted for the red once, solely for the lack of police tracker under the seat. I snipped the lock easily, and the bike was mine.

I shoved the wire cutters into the bush around the corner from the station entrance and then I set off. I went further down the road. The Den was only a short ride away from the suburbs, but it was a much different place. Whenever I rode past, I always imagined what it would be like to live in one of the houses there, to have my own room.

It wasn't fair of me to think like that, said Isaac. I know that Uncle treated us well and taught us so much, but I couldn't help but think that maybe this isn't the life I should lead.

Not like I had very much choice from the start.

"Hey Ron," I said when I dropped the bike into the garage.

"Password?" He was straightforward.

"Heart of a lion, skin toughs as nails. Stay long enough, see me fly off the rails." The locks and latches behind the door opened and Ron swung it open. "Thanks."

I stepped into the open room and Uncle called to me from the loft above.

"Eris!" His bald head was gleaming under the fluorescent light. He leaned precariously over the rusty railing. Was he sweating? "Meeting in my office in twenty!"

A dainty, female voice called behind him.

"Make it ten!" He spun around and walked into his room, not bothering to hide the fact he was already unbottoning his shirt.

I shivered at the thought of Uncle with yet another woman. God, he was such a whore. Promising women all the riches in the world, just to get into their pants. It bugged me to no end, but I never saw him whisk them away, otherwise I would warn them. Men are pond scum.

Not fair of me, I know. Isaac scolded my thoughts.

I walked into Uncle's office, where Isaac sat upon the couch that we have grown so familiar with.

"Hey," he muttered as I sat on the other end of the sofa.

"Hey," I sighed. Exhaustion with the hint of a coke hangover hit me like a freight train.

"Where the fuck did you go last night?" Isaac was agitated. "I woke up to tell you something and you're gone until the afternoon. What the fuck, E?"

"Since when do you care?" I spat. "My late night jaunts never bothered you before."

Uncle rushed in to the office to meet us. His silk robe clung to his sweaty beer belly.

"Kids." He sat behind his desk and shuffled around some papers. "I've got great news, and it's all thanks to Isaac."

My brother smugly looked over at me, tossing his head back as he smoothed the collar of his shirt.

"Isaac's great suggestion and thoughtful planning has made is possible for us to make this next hit a multi-Day success." Uncle beamed as his precious worker then handed us a paper holding next week's agenda. "If we move up the frontman's Day, we can hit every member of the band."

Isaac kept smirking as he and Uncle shared a moment together. It took every fragment of my being to stop myself from blowing up.

Isaac and I were dismissed and we rounded the corner to our room.

"What's wrong?" Isaac nudged me. "Your face is going red."

"Nothing's wrong - I'm just seething." I spun to reach his eyes, as I sharpened the knives behind mine. "You're such a fucking bastard."

"You see," he was smug again, "the logic behind that statement means that you, by extension, are also a fucking bastard. Not like I'm arguing with that." He crossed his lanky arms over his chest.

"Why would you tell Uncle it was your idea to get every member is the band?" I swatted his bicep. It made Uncle so goddamn happy to see Isaac succeeding and it made my blood boil.

"Because maybe if you took the random dicks out of your mouth and paid attention to your family, you'd see that we actually need help." He was leaning forward now. His breath smelled rotten and I made to move my face away to keep myself from breathing it in. "I miss making plans with you, but ever since mum died you've been AWOL."

He walked over the window and looked out upon the concrete yard.

"Do you remember when we used to work together?" Isaac didn't look back and it made me wonder if he was crying. "We work so well together, but this feels like a sodding business arrangement."

I rocked to and fro on my feet. My clothes felt too heavy, to the point that my bones could snap under their weight.

"So, if that's how you wanna run this, I'm out."

"You can't just dip out on me." My hands began to shake and my mouth grew dry. "I need you." Isaac turned to me again, tears welling up. Purple bags clung to his eyes.

"It's bullshit, Eris." He was exasperated. "You don't need me. Uncle and I have shown you how to do the so much of Day. You could basically do it on your own."

"Fuck off. That's not true." My throat tightened as I wanted to kick the shit out of him and hug him. He reached for a large duffle bag under his bed.

"I'm gonna head out for a couple days. Don't reach me, I'll come back when I'm ready."

"Fuck off, you're kidding. Right? This has to be a joke!" I was yelling in his face. He has to hear me, right? I grabbed the zipper of the bag and clawed through the packed clothes. They weren't folded nicely anymore as he fought me to shove them back in.

He dashed out to door and I was alone.