four alarm fire // matty healy

I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone

The low hum of the bus' engine finally shook me awake. I was in an unfamiliar bunk, cocooned in unfamiliar sheets while an unfamiliar set of voices wafted through the cabin. One man's voice stuck out more than the others.

"Oh, can we keep her please?" The voice spoke like a child and to caused me to sit up in my bundle of blankets.

"Morning, sleeping beauty," Matty said in a chipper tone. "I was just telling the boys about our new stowaway."

"Oh." My eyes felt like sandpaper everytime I blinked, but my stomach wasn't turning in on itself. At least, not as much.

"Do you want some red?" Matty's nimble hands held out a blue mug for me, halfway full. I thought he was joking about the wine, but upon my first sip, I was shocked to find he wasn't. My nose scrunched.

"Bit early, don't you think?" He waved his hand in a dismissive fashion.

"Not really, only ten to." How long had I been sleeping?

"Ten to what?" He poured the maroon-coloured drink into a plastic cup and handed it to me.

"Ten to your own business." I scowled at him, then my gaze shifted to the small bit of cork flying through the drink. It ebbed and flowed with the movement of the bus. Matty ushered me out of the bed and told me I should meet the others.

"Everyone, this is Eris. Eris, this is everyone," he said aloud. He waved his arm in a grand, sweeping motion. Shyly, I waved to the three men at the fold-out table. They were playing a card game, each player holding a hand, with two stacks in the middle of them. George spun in his chair and smiled at me. It put me at ease, so did the scenic view.

"I remember you," his voice was smooth and he stood up to offer me his seat. I graciously accepted. "I'm glad your knees are healing up."

They were, the rips in my pants showed off the healing scrapes. The blood had oxidized and protected the fragile skin beneath. The uncontrollable urge to pick at them bubbled in my stomach.

"Yeah, me too." I looked at the others across the table, Adam and Ross. They stared at me for a while, but then Adam offered me a hand of cards.

"Want to take George's place? He's quite shit at Go Fish."

-

We stopped for a fill up about after an hour after I woke up. Matty said there was another show tonight, but we had to head out immediately after, so there was no time to stop on the way. "If you need to stretch your legs or buy some crisps, you can go with Adam. He gets the snacks we like."

So I did, we walked up to the dinky snack shop beside the pumps and Adam carefully selected everyone's favourite candies and crisps.

"God, I feel like their den mother." He quirked an eyebrow and reached for the bag of chocolate covered pretzels. "For Ross."

"So, what did Matty tell you about me?" Adam shrugged as he held an armful of food and drinks.

"Not much," he said with a small smile, "seems like he fancies you, though." His eyes twinkled when he spoke.

"He does?"

"Well, I mean, why else would he offer to take you with us?" We brought the mass of food up to the counter for purchase.

My heart dropped when I saw that the man behind the counter was bald. Was it Uncle? Was he spying on me? Did he know where I was located? My mouth grew dry very quickly. My knees grew weak and I gripped the edge of the counter for stability. Adam placed a hand on me, but I couldn't feel him on top of my clammy skin. I think he asked me if I was alright but the only thing I heard was a pounding heartbeat. Was it mine? I think I heard everyone's heartbeat.

But then the man turned around. It was not Uncle. He had kind eyes and rougher hands. He didn't give me a second look. The terror in my lungs subsided. Thunderous heartbeats no longer flooded my system. Once Adam and I had stepped outside again, I finished one of the Luzocade cans in one gulp.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Adam asked me again, this time, he took the can from he and recycled it in the bin behind us.

"Yeah, sorry, just a bit thirsty." My words sputtered out like a leaky faucet.

We walked together, Adam supporting my shoulders with a strong arm. It was balmy outside, but the bus was full of air conditioning. It also had a full tank of petrol and we were ready to go back on the road. The clock showed it was nearly dinnertime, but it looked like the array of junk food would be our supper tonight.

I took a seat and Matty stumbled to the seat next to me. The lurch of the bus nearly put him in my lap, but we smiled anyway.

"You alright? Look like you saw a ghost." I nodded and offered him some of the bag of crisps I was holding. The subject was changed soon, to something stupid George did on stage at the last show. Or was it cool? I couldn't really tell based on how the guys described his antics.

"Did you see what he did? Nearly broke his neck!" Adam exclaimed.

"The crowd went wild when he went airborne!" Ross chimed in, his mouth full of pretzels and Twizzlers - a new concoction that was deemed 'Pretzlers'.

"I don't think my back'll be able to let me do it again," George groaned when Matty poked his sides. A series of sarcastic remarks came from the group. "I'm an old man!"

In a blink of an eye, we made it to the next venue.

"With time to spare," Matty said, but I think he was lying because there was a man who was quite chapped ushering them in. I sat in the bus for a while, I was told that the soundcheck would be boring to watch, and that I should sit tight until after.

"Then we can all sit before we go out to play! You're gonna watch right?" George asked me expectantly. I would have opted out - I'd rather stay out of the way - but everyone was looking at me with such pure intent.

"When should I come in?" I smiled.

"Like eight p.m. and I'll tell the guys out front to let you in," Matty placed a hand on my knees. Adam's words echoed in my head again, "seems like he fancies you."

I spent my time on the bus skimming whatever little reading material the boys had on board. Magazines, but they were really trashy ones. Only one book, and I already read Fight Club. It was a powerful book, but the grotesque was a lot to take in one sitting.

When it was time for me to meander inside, I sat in a room with no windows. Just four blue walls and sticky leather couches. It was just me for a while, but then everyone piled in. Crew flowed in and out for some of the snacks, but the five of us sat and waited on the sofas.

"Are you excited?" Matty asked me, glee brimming his voice. "There's a safe spot where you can watch the show."

"I've never been to a concert before," I looked to everyone. Shocked expressions all around.

"How old are you?" Ross asked through a mouthful of pizza. George swatted him with his arm and gave him a you can't ask that type of look.

"Twenty five..." I trailed off. "I mean, this club I go to has DJ sets, but I wouldn't consider that the same thing."

"Quarter of a century and you've never seen a live show!" Matty let out a guffaw and ran his hand through his sweaty hair. "We're honoured to be your first one, then."