Glitter

Sass

"In the right corner," Simon half-shouted like a wresting commentator. "A Crazy, Irrational, Lunatical Idiot."

"Hey!"

"And in the left corner," Simon continued. "A slightly less crazy, irrational and lunatical idiot.

"One sassy remark equals one jab with a broomstick to the opponent. By the end of ten minutes, the sassiest competitor wins!" Simon said.

Clary sighed. She couldn't believe they were having a sass off. Apparently this had been done before, though, for they'd found a book with rules of the competition in the drawer next to Maryse's bed.

Jace gripped his broomstick, sweat beading at the top of his brow. Alec did the same, narrowing his eyes.

"Three! Two!"

Jace felt the cool of battle wash over him; everything around him becoming slow motion.

"Let the sass begin!"

"What was on your demon realms packing list, Jace?" Alec said, and Magnus felt a surge of pride. "Always keep a spare handy, right?"

"What were those noises I heard last night?" Jace shot back, deflecting Alec's jab with the broomstick.

"Probably the ones coming from yours and Clary's bedroom," Alec said, while Clary made a choking sound.

By now, everyone was looking extremely uncomfortable, except for Simon and Isabelle, who lounged on the wall and enjoying the show immensely.

Jace sucked in a breath. "Is that a spider on your back, Alec?"

Alec jumped.

Jace grinned. "No, don't worry, it was only a hickey-"

"Has Clary taken you to the park yet? Nice lake, good space, lot's of ducks, all very romantic," Alec said, and Isabelle had to hide a laugh at the thought of Clary and Jace going on a date there.

"Just imagine," Simon whispered into her ear. "Jace rowing a boat for them in the lake, surrounded by ducks-"

Jace squinted. "Is that glitter on your eyebrows? So now you're Magnus, glitter and hickeys and all."

Alec swore at Magnus under his breath. "Where's your condom? Better put it on before you spray us all with your dickheadness!"

Jace had to admit he was impressed by that one. "I actually don't own any condoms, you know, I borrow them all from you."

"Why the hell would I need a condom?" Alec asked incredulously.

"I don't know!" Jace said like a little kid.

"Well, you should, when you swagger around pretending you know everything!" Alec, said, and it was as much a sass off as it was a contest of immaturity.

"I think we can all agree Magnus is the one doing the swaggering,"

"And you're the one almost knocking up girls."

"I'm beginning to think you've started obsessing over the idea of knocking up girls, since there's no way you can-"

"QUACK!"

~~~~

"And the winner of the sass off is... Alec! With his spectacular, uh, quacking, until Jace was begging for mercy at the sound of supreme sass!"

~~~~

Sorry for the lack of actual sass in this chapter, but I really enjoyed writing it.

And sorry for taking three months to update! I know how bad I've been at updating lately, but I've (sort of) got an updating plan, so it'll be better in the future.

Thankyou for reading!