The Cursed Kingdom

FORTY-SIX

~ NOTHING ~

One of the only things I could remember my mother getting angry at me for multiple times as a child was the fact that I had possessed the treacherous habit of biting my fingernails. Whenever I was upset or anxious or sometimes just so bored I didn't know how to do anything else, my immediate reaction would be to gnaw on what little was left of the ends of my nails. Sometimes I would do it for so long that my cuticles would bleed and cause my mother to rant passionately about how I would give myself an infection if I wasn't careful, so she'd make me soak my fingertips in salt water no matter how much I hated the sting or how badly it dried out my skin.

Wanting to act more adult and not give her more reasons to stress, I eventually broke the habit after my mother fell ill even though that was the time I had wanted to do it the most. My restless fiddling was the only thing that remained of it, my nervousness always seeming to come through the actions of my hands, and I hadn't bitten a single fingernail since I was twelve.

At least, I hadn't until a week of being trapped in a wooden, moving cage had passed and my anxious thoughts got the best of me, causing me to break my six-year record.

By the ninth day of our imprisonment, my nails had been bitten down so much only pink remained that was surrounded by thin frames of dried blood. And since there was no more of my nails left for me to ruin, I resorted to picking at the dirtied, loose bandages around my left hand, the tips of my fingers protesting with an indescribable, stinging pain with every action. But I was too internally numb to care about physical inconveniences. So I sat, pulling and twirling the few ends of cloth that had come loose, and stared at the shivering ball in the corner who I considered to be my greatest and only friend.

Oriana hadn't stopped crying since we left Amaryllus, letting the wide open fields of nothingness around us, except the occasional trees and bushels, consume her sobs. It was only when exhaustion made her sleep for a handful of hours that the world went a little more silent, and I would focus on the sound of the wagon's wheels rolling around and around, pulling us farther away from the only things we'd ever loved.

With every rotation, a fresh crunch of dirt would follow, which had noticeably grown farther and fewer between while the crack of the whip on the horse's behind only became more frequent. The observation had me believing that the horse, who had appeared strong and youthful when I'd first seen it, was tiring from the seemingly never-ending journey. It was perhaps the only living creature outside of the cage that I could muster enough consideration to feel sorry for.

I closed my eyes and sighed, feeling the cloth around my hand snap back and slap my knuckle after I lost grip on it, the distinct smell of horse feces filling the atmosphere for the second time that day. My nose scrunched up and I turned away, pressing my cheek against the hot iron bar and staring up at a dark cloud that promised rain soon.

Even though I rarely turned to the gods for anything, I was desperate and so I prayed to the god of weather, Hanak, that he would bring us a storm with strength—perhaps even one that could wipe us and all our pain away.

Although the thought of being drenched didn't bring me joy in the slightest, Oriana and I hadn't been given a single moment to leave the cage to properly use the restroom, and we hadn't been given a bucket either. Despite our damndest attempts and desperate cries, it hadn't even been a day before our bodies gave us no other choice and decency between us ceased to exist and in its place resided a mutual humiliation.

I found it hard to look her in the eyes sometimes.

Every time the males stopped to take a piss, they would send us cocky smirks as if the fact they had the ability to dispose of their bodily liquids properly while they prohibited us from doing so was something to be proud of. Even the horse, from what I'd seen before I'd been tossed in the cage, had a bag between its legs.