The New Golden Age

COVID-19 Update

Normally, I can be very introverted and enjoy being inside forever but I have never been so bored in my life. It's hilarious because I'm pretty sure it is the fact that we are not allowed to go anywhere that makes staying inside less enjoyable. Even so, I've been busy writing my Chemistry Seminar on Metallic Nanoparticles. This is the big one. This is the assignment that determines whether I get to graduate or not. And honestly, I give up.

The assignment is so damn horrible. First of all, the professor is so fucking biased. He's the Biochemistry professor so naturally he picked Medicinal Chemistry/Drug Delivery as the topic for the seminar which is literally my most hated subject. I hate anything and everything Bio-related. I was hoping for the seminar we would get to choose our own topic so I could do a Geochemistry essay and presentation but instead I got stuck doing Metallic Nanoparticles for Drug Delivery and Imaging and it is so boring. I hate it so much. I'm just gonna half-ass it. Because the good thing is it is a pass/fail type of class. Meaning it doesn't need to be great but just passable so I couldn't care less if I get a C this time. I don't care about my GPA anymore. Fuck the cords that we get during commencement, I know my own intelligence level, I don't need to put on a stupid cord to advertise to everyone that I can be smart. If I could've done my seminar on Geochemistry, I would have more than enough cords to hang the entire class of 2020. I don't care how dark that sounds, that's a funny joke. Fuck Medicinal Chemistry.

As for my job in the pharmacy, honestly, I couldn't care less about this virus. I'm already naturally (or unnaturally) immune to everything. I'm like the cure to everything. I can't get diabetes, the flu, ebola, and I'm very certain coronavirus as well. This isn't me being delusional believing I'm indestructible, I've had this tested in many events and the doctors have done their blood tests, it's completely confirmed, I'm a weirdo that can't get sick. One of the pharmacists I work with is a paranoid complainer. She keeps talking down at everyone coming into Walmart to shop and pick up prescriptions. And it's only because she's so paranoid that she has like a whole stock-up of everything in a bunker since forever and she doesn't understand that absolutely no sane person does that let alone owns a bunker. Plus, there are people out here that are pissed that they can't work and that they are gonna be short of money and she's here complaining that she's working and that Walmart isn't doing anything to protect us. Bitch, quit complaining, stay home and make room for the people that actually want to work.

I don't care for this virus because it's something easily preventable by literally not being a disgusting human being that doesn't wash their hands and even so it's less severe then a fucking cold. "Loss of breath?" I already have that because I'm fat and unfit and too lazy to do shit about it right now and too busy.

Anyway, this boredom pisses me off which is probably why I'm going off right now. Indiana University extended spring break by another week and these have been the longest two weeks ever. Even the two weeks in Mexico felt quick. All my classes have been moved online and even I have to tutor online now. Commencement got postponed but I never cared much for ceremonies anyway. I skipped all of my honors banquets and ceremonies in high school. Never really saw the point in advertising intelligence. If you're intelligent just use it, I guess. I don't really even consider myself intelligent, just lucky. I get the right answers by sheer luck. I predict the future by sheer luck.

My friend Judith is upset about the commencement being postponed though, mostly because she wanted to fly her family over here to see her since she's been in college for a long time now both in Mexico and here and this is finally it. I had a crush on her for while but then I got over it after I realized she only talked to me because she needed help with assignments and exams. Plus, she's older than me by eight years. That doesn't bother me though. Probably because I've been dealing with girls younger than me or the same age as me this whole time and there all so immature. Cheating on guys, not knowing what they want to do with their lives, not know what career they want, not knowing where they want to live, having friends with benefit relationships, having sexual relationships with guys that are engaged. Just all the girls I've dealt with were just so immature and toxic and dangerous so it was nice to have a change for a little bit because she's very intelligent she just doesn't give herself enough credit. When I reteach her the lectures for Inorganic Chemistry, she completely understands everything about the symmetry point groups determination, finding IR stretches, and MO theory but her test anxiety get so bad she freezes and forgets everything immediately. Honestly, there's nothing I can do to help her with that though. She and I went on a bunch of lunch dates and everything but the minute we all went to spring break and the quarantine stuff started happening, she started ignoring all of my messages that weren't school-related or money-related since I've also been giving her financial advice. Clear indication that I'm merely a resource which is normal for me. I've always been used as a resource but now that I can finally notice it, I can simply walk away. A lot has changed since Arizona, I just don't feel super attached to people anymore. Not to say I'm super distant and unemotional, I just mean I finally can understand when it's time to walk away from a situation.

Oh well, once this whole unnecessary panic is over with, I'm going straight to McDonald's. If SETI doesn't accept my REU application, I might go back to Tucson to find a place to live before I move completely and then come back and see if I can assist my old high school music department with marching band. I always wanted to do it just to reunite with the directors plus I think it'll be fun. I'm not just all Chemistry, Math, and Geology. I'm a Mambo King and Brother BlackBari, I still got music in my soul and some things to teach.