i was listening to this song i used to hate called 'rock bottom' by hailee idk why i hated it. now the song is catchy to my ears~ you'll understand why the song fits the story so stay tuned!
anyway, this was requested by @MintySourLin , i hope you don't mind me adding another conflict to the plot. your request gave me excellent ideas of where this story can revolve to, so thank you for requesting! :)
genre: angst
others: first POV, dying! reader (broken heart syndrome or heart failure), friends with benefits (implied intercourse- or lime) , modern! au
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i'm vulnerable whenever i'm around him. the way his fingertips would journey across my back, the way his hot breath would flutter against my bare ear, and the way his puckered & swollen lips would mark purple butterflies on my skin are the reasons why i'm so helpless when i'm with him. he's my everything that i now have. it's impossible to live in a world without him, and he might feel the same too. i am madly in love with norton campbell.
even so through our appointments that happen almost every night, i always struggled whether he reciprocated his feelings. it was difficult to understand considering the fact that i was merely there to fulfill the empty satisfaction left in his empty soul. he was involved with relationships that i knew of during our times. to be frank, i was conflicted, as i should be. naturally, any rational person in a predicament like this would choose to stop and cut ties, but i was practically indulged. indulged by the close proximity our bodies seemed to share as we made love throughout the night.
norton campbell would come to meet me after a recent separation with his significant others in my bedroom in the middle of the night. anyone would've been infuriated to be woken up from their sleep, but i was not. if i were to be angry, i wouldn't be able to receive his peppered kisses despite their fake touches. at least that's how my perspective is whenever we're on the bed.. however, we rather enjoy it than to complain. all that mattered was that we were there to express our grief and hopefully wash them away by using each other.
i didn't really think that 'using each other' was the correct term, on the contrary, we were to build each other. even before his relationships existed, i was there. i was always there. i was always there when he needed me, and he was always there when i needed him. it used to be often that we'd gather in my room and made love before he found someone that wasn't me, but now, he was sneaking in less and less. i've always thought that it would be better this way and i've always thought that he was tired of me.
i'm pathetic anyways so i understand if he'd be worn out.
i'm just some random, wretched, hopeless harlot who seeks for company. nevertheless, i was a harlot for him and him only. i could never find any man that is norton campbell.
it made my heart suffer whenever i see him with another woman from afar, who's not me. in spite of this, envy was never in my presence because i know that he's going to visit me when the moon rises after letting that woman has her heartbreak. i thought that it would go opposite when he grows exhausted from me, yet that didn't appear to be the case. what was his initial purpose anyway? women after women, why does he keep coming to me in the end? am i not enough for him? he could've— we could've blossomed together from the start.
were my petals too wilted?
in the midst of all this dispute, i was put in a worse condition god had to offer. it wasn't fair, it was selfish. many times i've asked myself; why me? why was i chosen to have this kind of pain that my heart has to go through? my heart has endured long enough and it's so..so fragile. it was in the brink of shattering and i'm trying my best to calm my adrenaline. especially when i'm around him.
