Relative Fiction | ✓

08

It smelled worse than a dentist's office in the actual room where all the group therapy sessions were held, although I'd chalk some of that up to the beefy kid next to me who definitely had the meat sweats.

Due to my mother's insistence, she had driven me to the meeting 10 minutes early, and my knees bobbed up and down restlessly as I watched people file in and fill the plastic chairs around the room. At first, I was a little shocked at how diverse the group was, but addiction didn't really give a shit who you were.

After a few more moments most, of the chairs had filled with other twenty-somethings, their eyes some variation of sad or vacant or both. When my heart started to drop, I realized I had actually been looking for AJ. Finally, she walked in, with that same usual glow about her, like an angel without a halo. Without even thinking I stood up from my chair as she passed me, and the moment I realized how horrible and awkward what I had just done was, it was too late. My face burned crimson.

"Hey," she said softly as she walked by, taking a seat on the other side of our circle of chairs.

I let out a breath as I sat back down, and the beefy kid next to me rolled his eyes.

"Alright, I think we've got just about everyone." I hadn't even noticed the guy at the front of the room until he spoke, pushing his round glasses up the bridge of his nose. He reminded me of the guy in Jurassic Park that says get the stick stupid to the raptors. I had never watched that movie without being on drugs, but I loved that scene.

"I know we've got a few new people starting today, so I'll introduce myself. I'm Dr. Weiss, but just John is fine." He readjusted his glasses again with his grubby fingers. "I want this setting to be informal, and I'm not just a doctor that's going to talk at you. I want us all to work together, and also try and achieve our own personal goals."

I tried to hold back a groan.

"So new folks, you know who you are." He gestured to AJ first, and relief washed over me.

I couldn't take my eyes off her as she walked to the front of the circle, her strides self-assured but calm. She wore just jeans and a t-shirt, but something about that just added to how effortless everything about her was. How we even existed in the same universe was beyond me, let alone the same addiction therapy group. She was a diamond, and I was fucking fool's gold.

"Hey, I'm AJ," she started, and gave that perfect half-smile that made my knees weak. "It's Antonietta Jane actually, but nobody takes Antonietta seriously, so AJ was born pretty early on in my life."

She addressed the group as a whole, but damn I wanted her to just look right at me. Even just for a second.

"I was born and raised in New York City. Upper West Side. My mom was a decent lawyer, so I'll admit we had a pretty nice life in the city, ya know?" The words came out of her mouth 100 miles per hour, in a way I had already gotten used to. She was so animated about everything, and I hinged on every single word. "I stayed local and studied creative writing at Columbia, and I figured out early on I was a pretty stereotypical party girl. I wanted to make friends in college, so I just said yes to everything. Take 5 shots of tequila? Yeah sure. Wanna sell some molly on the side for some extra cash? I'm your girl. Having a parent in law enforcement didn't really help, because I more or less got away with everything."

She took a breath to steady herself. "I look back and realize there were a lot of times I should have figured out I had a drinking problem. Waking up in a stranger's apartment and not knowing how I got there, lying to my mom when I asked to borrow money so I could go out and party...and this wasn't like a once in a while occurrence, this was every god damn weekend."