Too Afraid To Love You

Chapter Two

Arthurs Note: I'm not entirely sure where I wanted to take this story. Therefore, I will kind of come up with the story as I go along. Hope it isn't terrible!!!! Let me know where you guys are standing on this story so far!!!! 

     It's been a little over a week since my last encounter with Happy. An entire week. I'm unsure if I am grateful or slightly disappointed. Probably more grateful considering our last meeting didn't go swell. The last few days at the garage have been uneasy to say the least. Everyone has been on their toes and speak in low whispers. I'm not one to intrude or eavesdrop on anyones conversations but from what I have heard, it's recommended for everyone to travel in packs. However with the secrecy, I've done my best to keep my distance for the most part. I ask minimal questions and keep my head low. Not because I'm intimidated or frightened of anyone. But so I don't cause any trouble. I really need this job. The last few years have been extremely hard on me. 

     My mother was terminally ill and held on far longer than myself and the doctors had anticipated. I was grateful. All time with her was precious. It's been over a year since her passing. But the debt from her medical bills only seem to get higher and higher as the days pass. That's the thing the hospitals and debt collectors never mention. Despite your loss and your grief, it's never as important as their greed. I don't blame the doctors, they were just doing their job. I'm not even sure who to blame.  I suppose I should blame myself. If I had put more effort, stayed in school instead of dropping out of college freshman year, maybe I could've had a higher paying job. Something better. Something less stressful. Something were I didn't gawk at the man of my dreams as he silently passed inside of the garage to speak to other members of the club. A job I didn't feel like I was suffocating with bliss, sadness and defeat. 

   I break myself from my thoughts and stare at the clock on the wall. Ten minutes til Five. I was beyond ready to go home. I had felt slightly on edge and a tad bit overwhelmed to say the least. It was Friday. Gemma normally gave me weekends off to 'indulge in the prissy shit' she felt I did. More her words than my own. She wasn't wrong. On my way home I was planning to pick up a small pint of ice cream, order some Chinese food, and watch extremely sad and sappy romance movies to make up for the lack of love in my life. Everyone has always sworn I was a hopeless romantic but I felt I was just caring. I entertained the idea of love at first sight and destined soul mates. Maybe that's why my love life has failed tremendously. I drool over the men who see a gigantic 'use me' sign on my forehead and I'm the one left high and dry. The loud rumble of motorcycles pull me away from my thoughts. I glance up at the clock. Ten passed Five. I quickly logged out of my computer, gathered all my belongings and began making my way outside. I usually keep my head down in case Happy was around. I'd rather not make eye contact with him.  Even though I would love to see his face when he saw me in my beige pumps and tight pencil skirt, I'd rather pretend we didn't know each other. It was easier for everyone but more so for me. If I told myself nothing ever happened I begin to believe it. Despite how untrue it is. It made feel better. 

  The sun was excruciating bright. Brighter than most days of summer. I pulled my glasses out of my purse, kept my head low and walked quickly to my car. I didn't look up. Not once. At least not until someone spoke to me. 

"Hey!" A man yelled at me. 

If I keep my head low, maybe they won't speak to me.

"Hey! Hayley!" The man shouted again. 

Maybe they aren't talking to me? 

I looked up from the ground and at least four of the guys were staring at me. Happy was among them. Jax and Opie began walking towards me, Happy followed close behind.

Shit. 

"What's up?" I said in a low tone trying to keep my voice from cracking. It didn't work.