Let Me Go

Party (H)

*Haydens POV*

I wake up sore from sleeping on the couch all night. I keep the blanket wrapped around me and make my way to Billie's room. She's not there, then I hear voices coming from Finn's room. I press my ear to his door and hear a few words being sung, 'the debt I owe, gotta sell my soul 'cause I can't say no, no I can't say no'. I grin to myself wondering where she comes up with these lyrics. I'm so proud of her.

The sudden urge to pee hits me and I run to the bathroom. I go to wash my hands afterwards but I don't remember black goo being all over the sink before. What the fuck did Billie do in here, sacrifice a child?! I grab a towel and clean up the mess she left behind. Little did I know I'd be cleaning up more of her messes than I could count. I get a text from Kiara.

Ki😈
-Girl I hope this isn't true...-
-link./billieeilish-kissing/-

I open the link to see a picture of Billie kissing another girl that isn't me. I recognize Billie's beanie because she wears it all the time. I vaguely recognize the other face but I can't pinpoint who it is.

I pound on Finn's door. Billie answers, "what's wrong angel?" Her freshly dyed black hair shocks me for a second,  "Oh cut the shit demon spawn, who the fuck is this?!" I exclaim, showing her the picture. Without changing her expression or missing a beat she explains, "she was the girl I was with awhile ago." I nod catching her drift. I believe her. Looking back on it, I shouldn't have...

Maggie waves to get my attention, "I need your help with something dear." "Sure, anything Mags." Turns out Billie's birthday is next week and she wants help planning a surprise party.

~~~~

I've been avoiding Billie all week making excuses to not be near her. It breaks my heart to see her sad because I'm not around, so I shoot her a quick text to let her know I'm thinking about her.

H
-Hey baby! 💕 I miss you! Meet me at the park. 7:00. Don't be late.-

BillieBob
-k 😘-

Bil's mom is an absolute saint. I see where Billie and Finneas get their creative genius from. I check the time and see I have half an hour until I'm meeting Billie, just enough time to get ready and pick up a bouquet of roses. I slip on a dress and let down my hair. Ugh dresses are so weird but mami wanted to show off some skin.

I make a run to the flower shop and pick out a bouquet. I smell the roses and smile, I think Billie will like these. My fingers graze over my necklace as I walk to the park. I make it there with a few minutes to spare. I set the roses on one of the swings and sit on the one next to it. I see Billie and my heart flutters, she walks closer and gestures to the flowers, "What are those for, your side chick?" she asks with a dead expression. I laugh, and then it turns awkward because she wasn't joking. She was being serious. "Billie do you really think after the stupid shit we've been through that I'd cheat on you?"

"Probably." My jaw hits the floor. This bitch really thinks I'd cheat on her. I grab the bouquet and shove them into her chest. "Have fun at your birthday party Billie, I'm going home." I pass Maggie as I leave the park. "Hey sweetie, everything's ready." "Great. I'm sure Billie will love it. I um- I had something come up so I've gotta dip." I give Maggie a quick hug, "I love you."

I stop by Billies house and grab my things, before going home to my moms. When I got home I cried. I turned into a lil bitch and cried. Over a girl who automatically assumed I was cheating. I didn't exactly break up with her, but I sure as hell am fucking done with her. After a couple hours of wallowing in self pity my mom goes to bed. Soon after, I hear a knock. I'm half expecting it to be Billie when I open the door.

Zoe.

"Oh hey," I say wiping the tears and snot on the sleeve of my sweatshirt. "Hey Billie told me what happened. I'm so sorry." She pulls me into an unexpected hug. It freaks me out at first but I wrap my arms around her anyways. This isn't so bad...

I pull away and smile, "Thanks for that, I really needed it." "Sure thing, I've got you babe." My cheeks flush hearing her call me babe. I can't help it. Her eyes flick to my lips, and I know what she wants. At this point I wanna feel anything but sad, and I crash my lips on hers. I kiss her hungrily and she matches my actions. I push her onto the couch sliding her pants down her body, as well as taking off my own. I roughly pull her closer before positioning my center over hers and she yelps. I cover her mouth with my hand, "Make another fucking sound and you'll leave here without getting off. You got me?" She silently nods. I lightly slap her face, "Good girl."

~~~~

Physically that felt good. Emotionally I feel worse than I did before.

My phone dings.

BillieBob
-I'm sorry for the way I acted mamas. Mom told me all that you've been working on over the past week and I feel like such an asshole. Can I come over?-

Fuck me. I can't deal with this too.

BillieBob
-Nvm. You're probably asleep by now, buuuut I love you more than anything. ❤️-

Some days I wish I hadn't met her... because right now just wanna leave the negativity in my head.

You fucked up.

I can't believe what you did.

You don't deserve her.

You're a worthless piece of shit.

I tug at the roots of my hair wanting them to stop, but they only get louder.

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.

JACKSON HAS A FIX.

A WHOLE BOTTLE OF IT.

COME GET ME.

I grab my phone, my finger hovering over Jackson's contact info. I press the call button secretly hoping he doesn't pick up.

"Hello?"

a/n: from the other siiiiiiiide. jk ignore me. I'm weird.