marlboro red (chaesoo)

Call Me Hopeless, But Not Romantic

She's hurting and I hate myself because I can't do anything about it.

"I just wish she could see me as more than her bestfriend you know?" She said as she reach for another shot of vodka.

That's her fifth shot but I couldn't stop her drunk lightweight ass.

"I mean I like what we have. I love that I get to spend time with her. But it hurts seeing her happy with someone else. God I'm selfish." She said beating herself. She's about to grab another shot but I took it and drink it instead that made her glare at me.

"You can't drink." She reminded me and I just shrugged.

"Don't blame me if suddenly can't breathe or something." She said rolling her eyes and signalled the bartender for another drink.

They have this idea that I'm allergic to alcohol because I don't drink. I do though, just not when I'm with them.

"Let's go home." I said and drink whatever that is that the bartender prepared and paid for everything.

"Hey that was mine." She said annoyed but I just pulled her out of the bar. I made her put her arms around my shoulder as I wrap mine around her waist to help her walk.

"Where are we going? I'm not done yet." She said pouting.

"We have classes tomorrow." I answered simply and she just sigh.

I help her get inside her car and jog towards the driver's seat.

"I don't wanna go home." She said as soon as I get in.

"But you need to rest. You have an early class tomorrow, or rather later." I said as I noticed that it's already 1am.

"You are so gonna regret drinking when you wake up later." I said as I started the engine and drove off

"Can I stay at your place? I don't want Lisa to see me at this state. She's gonna ask what's wrong and I can't tell her what's wrong because I can't tell her that I'm in love with her and I hate seeing her with somebody else when she clearly she me as just her bestfriend and I know that she likes somebody else." Chae rumbles and sob at the end. God I hate seeing her crying.

"Hey calm down. You can stay at my place and I'll text Lisa that you're with me. We don't want her to be worried right." I said as I wiped her tears with my free hand and look back at the road.

"Thanks Chu. I don't know what I would do without you." She smiled at me weakly and leaned over the window and closed her eyes.

It took us 10 minutes to arrive at my apartment and that's all the time that she needs to sleep. I parked her car in the parking space of my apartment building and looked at her.

See looks tired from all the crying but she still looks beautiful even in this state.

I grab my phone in my pocket and texted Lisa that Chaeyoung is staying the night because of a project which is obviously a lie.

Lisa quickly reply thanking me for texting her. Said she's so worried because Chae's not answering her phone and not returning her texts.

Sorry we're so caught up with work that that we didn't notice the time. I'll tell Chaeyoung to text you first thing tomorrow. I replied to Lisa

Thanks Jisoo unnie. Good luck with your project. Good night. Lisa replied.

After texting her goodnight, I get off the car and walked towards Chaeyoung's side. I tried waking her up but she won't even bulge. I guess I don't have a choice but to carry her. God the things I do for this woman.

I grabbed her purse and carried her to my back before closing her car door.

I walked towards my apartment building and to the elevator. As I pressed my floor number I heard her mumble but I can't understand what it is.

"Hey you awake?" I asked her but she just mumble incoherent words again.

The elevator doors open at my floor and I couldn't be more happier. For a slim girl like Chaeyoung she sure is heavy.

I walk towards my door struggling but successfully opened it.

I headed to my room and carefully laid her to my bed before removing her shoes and coat. I quickly grab a glass of water from the kitchen and made her drink it before tucking her to bed.

I looked at her one last time before kissing her forehead and head to my living room. I guess I'm crashing on the couch tonight.

I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight so I walk towards the balcony and light up a cigarette to calm my nerves, relax and help me sleep. I looked at the city lights as I blow smoke and looked at the bedroom's direction.

Park Chaeyoung. I don't even know when I started having these feelings for her. All I know is I want to protect her and let her know how precious she is. She knows my feelings towards her. She rejected me obviously but that didn't change our friendship thank god. We even became closer, I became her confidant. She tell me things that she couldn't tell Lisa, it hurts, a lot, but I wouldn't admit that because I told her that I already moved on. Saying that makes things easier. It makes her open up to me.

So here I am, following her around like a lovesick puppy that will do everything for her. For her happiness and right now I suck at it.

I sighed as I remember her heartbroken face at the bar earlier. How I really wish I could just take away all her pain.

I quickly clean myself up after finising a stick and changed into my sweatpants and muscle shirt. I grabbed a pillow and blanket and crashed to the couch.

I stared at the ceiling as Mayday Parade's Call Me Hopeless, But Not Romantic plays faintly at the background, I chuckled at the irony as it lull me to sleep.