spider-man oneshots

learn the alphabet with mcr

because my Peter is forever like,, 15,, and mcr stan

***

Peter sat next to Tony in the conference room as Steve explained the names of a few recently surfaced criminal organizations. 

Peter was bored, and doodled on the paper he was supposed to be taking notes on. Tony was trying and failing to hide a smile as he watched Peter absentmindedly move the pen across the lined paper. 

"From what we've gathered, this one's the most dangerous of all. They're called the RATROB", Steve said. 

Peter snorted at the name and started doodling Remy, the rat from Ratatouille. 

"The name's an acronym. The first R stands for–" Steve started explaining but was cut off by Peter. 

"Rock n roll exorcism, dude", he mumbled quite loudly. 

"You got something to say, Peter?" Steve asked. 

Peter looked up. "No. Please continue."

Steve squinted. "The R stands for rad, for some reason."

Peter smirked. These criminals sounded fun. 

"The A stands for–"

"Are you showing your butt? No!"

Tony surpressed a chuckle and Natasha shot Peter an amused look. 

"It stands for asexuals", Steve continued, ignoring Peter's interruption. 

"Hella valid", Peter said. Bucky nodded in agreement. 

"The T is for–" Steve stated but once again Peter interrupted him. 

"T.A.T.U", he said, not even bothering with mumbling anymore.

Steve sighed as Tony chuckled quietly. 

"No, tryna", he said. "The second R stands for–"

"Rock n roll exorcism, dude!" Peter exclaimed this time, abandoning his drawing.

"Peter, please be quiet", Steve begged. 

Peter pouted. "No."

Steve rolled his eyes as Bucky snorted. "The R is for rob. O is for–"

"Oh, Frankie?" Peter said in a high pitched voice and Tony failed to hide his laugh this time. 

 Natasha was grinning to herself, partly because of Peter but mostly because of Steves frustration. 

"No, it stands for only", Steve corrected, defeat clear in his voice. 

One letter left, he could do this. 

"And the B stands for–"

"Boys, boys, boys, boys, boys", Peter started chanting as he got up from his seat and raised his arm up. 

Tony and Bucky burst out laughing and Natasha chuckled. Steve's face was blank. 

"That's it", he said flatly and wet to the door. 

"No, wait!" Bucky said in between laughs. "What does it– what does it stand for?"

Steve's expression remained blank. "Bitches."

Rad Asexuals Tryna Rob Only Bitches. 

That was a criminal organization Peter could support. 

an/ asexuals are hella valid, as are all of the LGBTQ+ community, that is all. 

no wait that's not all !!!

im mad cos the release date for Black Widow got moved to November!! I understand the reason why, but im still pissed. 

peace, the author