Cherry Blossom's Wolf: Sakura-X-Syaoran (Cardcaptor Sakura FanFic)

Chapter 12: Together for Tomorrow (Marriage Arc 3/4)

The wedding had been beautiful, but the look he was giving her now seemed like the very epitome of the entire two day's events. Her hand paused on the freezing metal of the gate keeping them from his apartment, the cold seeping into her skin and numbing it. Sakura paid it no mind, too enraptured by the warmth in his eyes that somehow blocked the frigid night from her consciousness.

This look was entirely familiar and alien all at once; a nearly disarming gentleness coupled with a burst of fire that set her on edge in a completely new way that she found not unpleasant in the slightest. She didn't know what to think at that moment... What to feel. So her body took the reins, sending her heart thudding and her stomach dropping to her knees in a foreign, but strangely welcome manner as she continued to stare, the two of them frozen in time.

The easy comfort she found in their relationship was changing rapidly before her eyes and she put a hand to her reddening cheek – from the frosty air or embarrassment, she couldn't be sure – in an unconscious effort to ward off the staggering realization.

Attempting to unravel and understand her own emotions in that moment seemed as daunting as when he'd first confessed. Sakura was never what one would call a coward, but still she shied away from the feelings that were cementing themselves in her mind. Thoughts she'd never had before. It felt befuddling at best, and at worst like she was doing something wrong, wondering if their bodies would fit the same way together without the hindrance of clothes. How she'd feel trapped beneath his powerful body, or what her name would feel like if he were to whisper it into her skin.

Still, the emotions fascinated her, and so she continued to stare back at him as he watched her gently. Were those things what she wanted? Were they ready to take that step? The thought was giant and looming, and she wondered if he could see what she was thinking, because his expression shifted slightly, becoming something enigmatic, though the gentleness remained.

In that moment she felt self-conscious; as see-through as glass, and just as easy to shatter, yet so embraced by love it nearly brought her to her knees. She felt a million miles away, yet he was connecting her to everything at the same time with just a look. A car drove by, the headlights playing against his face and lighting up his eyes, revealing emotions she couldn't see in the darkness. Love was prominent, followed by a mysterious longing she'd never seen grace his features before.

Suddenly he was closing the distance between them, so close to her that she swore her heart, already thudding heavily must have skipped a beat entirely. The erratic feelings from his proximity invoked a memory in her of the first time they'd shared a kiss; this scenario matching up with that time almost seamlessly, much to her continued wonder.

The scent of his clothes and skin reached her nose, lighting up her nerves with an electric current that she couldn't deny if she tried. And she realized with a jolt that if that were to instigate tonight, she wouldn't be the one to pull away and refuse.

The heat of his body suddenly made her drunk with want, and she started to raise a hand – to brush his bangs from his face or to steady herself for when he kissed her, she wasn't sure. Was he wondering the same things she was? The clicking of a latch broke her out of her stupor, followed by a stiff creaking. The gate groaned open beside her.

"We'll catch a cold if we stay out here. C'mon, Sakura."

Disappointment rang through her, clouding her thoughts with the opaque realizations of what she wanted from him. Then the mortification came. Did he know what she'd been expecting? Was he scared or disgusted if he did? Not to mention she'd been thinking of such things out here, in public!

'Hoeeeee!' her frantic mind thought, eloquently.

He was waiting for her to go in before him, she was sure, but his face looked strained and his smile wasn't right. She hesitated. Then the revelation coated her with the comfort of a blanket: it wasn't her he was hesitating about, it was this – these same heavy feelings she was struggling with. They were married now. This would be their first official night as husband and wife in their home. The realization had come slowly with their night in the hotel, not seeming real until that gate to their apartment had opened.