dancing with your ghost

!tw! ten.

!mentions of self harm & suicide!
___________________________________

the last time i talked to you.

we were at your house.

the night you left me.

we had just watched a movie,

just like we did every thursday night.

i noticed you were more touchy

but i thought nothing of it.

i hadn't noticed.

i never noticed anything.

never noticed your scars.

your sadness.

how different you were acting.

before i left

we kissed for a long time.

we made out for at least 10 minutes.

we pulled away,

i was smiling.

and so were you.

it was genuine too.

it was your genuine bunny smile.

the thing that made my heart melt.

"i love you"

those were your last words to me.

"i love you more."

those were my last words to you.

and then i left.

and that's when it happened.

your parents called me distraught.

i didn't know what was happening.

they explained to me.

you had new scars on your arm.

they were bleeding out.

and you had stabbed yourself.

in the heart.

the heart that you loved me with.

i hung up immediately.

i ran downstairs sobbing to my parents,

they were confused.

i stuttered out,

"j-jungkook."

is all i got out at first.

they thought you had broken up with me.

"h- he's g-g-gone."

then they thought you had ran away.

"he's dead!"

i screamed out,

my voice croaking.

they just stared at me.

then they hugged me.

and they called jimin.

and he held me,

while i cried in his chest.

just like i'm crying in his chest now.

because i saw you for real this time.

but it wasn't my boyfriend.

it wasn't my happy jungkook.

it wasn't my kookie.

it was my boyfriend who had killed himself.