after dusk - draco malfoy

xii. | twelve

I HAD STAYED OVER AT HOGWARTS for Christmas, the school being rather empty, though not completely. It was finally the first day back and for some reason, I had been looking forward to seeing everyone again. Harry had stayed over as well but he was having extra lessons with Lupin regarding the dementors, he didn't really explain much more than that to me.

I had gone to sit by the Black Lake, with Farley, to write to my friends at Beauxbatons one last letter. I decided if they weren't to write back to me again, then I wouldn't give them a second thought. I had planned to travel back to France in the summer to meet them but if they didn't reply, I was going to tell my Aunt and Uncle not to bother and to cancel the trip.

Dear Estelle, Dominique, and Antoinette,
I think it's very obvious by now that the three of you are ignoring my Owls. If you would rather not keep contact, then I understand. In case you were wondering, though it is obvious you weren't, otherwise you would've written to me, I have settled into Hogwarts brilliantly.

I hope you and your families are well and all is well for you three at Beauxbatons.
Wish you all the best in life,
Tasmin.

I folded up the piece of parchment, sliding in the photograph of the four of us into the envelope and wrote each of their names on the front it; Estelle Delacour, Dominique Beaumont, Antoinette Donnadieu.

I put the envelope in Farley's beak and she took off. I knew that she wouldn't arrive back until the following day, so I watched longingly at the bird, hoping she would travel okay. I sat in thought for a few moments before being interrupted. "Hey."

I turned around to see Draco, making his way over to me. I forced a smile to the boy, remembering the confrontation I had with my friends not long before Christmas. Poppy and Stella hadn't really given me much attention, other than an awkward smile, after that. "Malfoy," I acknowledged him, nodding my head his way.

He sat down on the grass, about half a foot away from me. He looked out across the lake, taking in the scenery before turning his head in my direction. "I didn't see you on the train, earlier," he mentioned and I explained how I had stayed at school. "Ah right," he nodded his head. "I've never spent Christmas at school, I always imagined it to be quite lonely."

I thought for a moment before agreeing with him. "Yeah, the two weeks did drag on a bit, not many people in Gryffindor stayed over, mainly just Harry and me," I told him, I could see his face contort at Harry's name so I decided to speak again before he could make a snide comment about him. "It did get rather lonely though, yeah," I nodded my head.

He took a deep breath in, looking out across the lake again, before turning his head to me. "If I'd have known that, I would've written to you," he explained, making me feel a bit uneasy to the stomach. It wasn't how I had felt around him before, it was almost like a cautionary unease.

My mind started racing about Poppy and Stella again before I spoke. "You didn't need to, I kept myself busy," I dismissed him, shrugging my shoulders, my dark hair falling off them as I did so. We both fell into silence but it was a rather comfortable one. We were both looking out across the lake and I let out a content sigh. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

I turned to see he had already been looking at me before I spoke. He simply just nodded his head at me. My legs had started to become numb from sitting there so long, and I presumed Draco's had as well considering he shifted himself, slightly. He ended up sitting a little bit closer to me but at the time, it didn't register.

We sat in silence for a few more moments before he spoke again. "I was wondering," he began, making me turn my head to look at him. "What's your grade like in potions?" He asked me, a pondering look on his features.

I furrowed my brows slightly at the odd question, which had seemed to have come out of nowhere. "Outstanding," I told him, actually surprised that was my grade. "Why?"

The corner of his lips curled upwards at that and he sat up a bit more. "My father wasn't impressed with my end of year grades and I was wondering if you would be able to help me with Potions," he explained.

Obviously, I had no problem at all with it, so I swiftly agreed. "Thank you," he told me but I just waved it off. "I'll make sure to buy you another Butterbeer some time," he added on, my stomach lurching at the thought of Poppy and Stella.

I sat up a bit more, beginning to gather up my things. "No, no," I shook my head at him. "It's fine, you don't have to," I dismissed, not wanting to fall out with Poppy and Stella any more than I already had. Tommy didn't seem to have a problem with me but I hated the thought of losing friends this soon after joining Hogwarts.

Sure, I had Harry, Ron, and Hermione but by the sounds of things, they had been through a lot together. The friendship they had with one another was nothing compared to what I would ever have with any of them. It wasn't their fault, and it wasn't mine either, it was just pure and plain facts.

Draco's smile dropped, slightly. I didn't notice it but if I hadn't been worrying about my friendships, it would've been very obvious to me. "Oh," he spoke, beginning to stand up. I did the same, putting my quill and ink back into my bag. "Yeah, nevermind," he shook his head, mentally cursing himself for even thinking about it.

The two of us walked back up to the castle together, making small talk about Christmas but it wasn't the same between us. I could tell Poppy and Stella had made a big influence on how I had started to act around Draco.

It seemed almost ridiculous I had listened to them. He hadn't done anything wrong to me after the day in the hospital wing, he had changed for the better. I was just blinded by the need to be approved of to see that. I was blinded to the fact he was hurting inside. Hurting because of me.