after dusk - draco malfoy

xvii. | seventeen

          THERE WAS A DISCONSOLATE ATMOSPHERE AROUND the school in the remaining days before the summer. Dumbledore had hosted a school assembly, including the students from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang to identify what had actually happened to Cedric Diggory. It was very emotional.

          I had sat with Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle to my left and Estelle, Fleur, and Antoinette to my right. Draco had his arm around me the whole time, keeping me close to him. Draco had been showing me more affection in the previous days after I had told him about my family. I ended up telling Stella, Tommy, Poppy, Harry, Ron, and Hermione as well, considering I felt they were closest to me in that time.

          Regarding the extra affection Draco had been showing me, none of the Slytherins had batted an eye at it, let alone taunt us - not even Pansy. Even they knew not to bother Draco and me after the loss of a student.

          In the assembly, Dumbledore had explained that You-Know-Who had returned and that Cedric had been murdered by him - just as Harry had recounted. Harry seemed to be struggling with the news a lot. Not like he shouldn't be, I had struggled with the news a lot, living in fear of what was to come.

          I believed Harry had it worse as You-Know-Who resented him for being the reason he fell from power all those years ago. While I feared for my life, I feared for Harry's even more. Some people would call me stupid for it, worrying for someone else's survival over my own but I couldn't help it.

          Aunt Emma and Uncle Leo had sent me an Owl earlier on that week. I had read it over many times over the days since I had received it. They wanted to discuss everything once I had arrived back home from school. I knew they were going to try to convince me to move again but I planned to stand my ground.

          I didn't want to leave Draco, which was enough reason in itself for me to stand my ground. However, ultimately, I was sick of running. I wasn't going to leave Hogwarts. I was going to fight, even if I was doomed to lose. At least I knew I would've lived my life knowing I put up as much of a fight as I could.

The final day arrived and everyone was preparing for their goodbyes and the journey ahead of them. Everyone didn't want to leave but I felt this feeling a lot stronger. There was a chance I was never going to see this castle again. It made my stomach crawl and brought tears to my eyes, constantly. I waved my wand to collect all of my things and dump them into my trunk.

None of the other girls had bothered packing yet, apart from Hermione who had packed the night before. I wanted to walk around the castle once more, just in case it was the last time I would have the chance.

I swiftly exited the Common Room, not wanting anyone to notice I had left. I had managed to leave undetected and I took a stroll around the castle. I ended up finding myself at Hagrid's. I had no intention to speak to him until he noticed me around the pumpkin patch outside his hut. "Tasmin!" He greeted me, surprise in his voice. "Shouldn't ye be packin'?"

I turned myself to face him, unsure of what to say. I had planned to tell him I wanted to get fresh air but my brain and mouth clearly weren't co-operating. "I might not be able to come back here," I burst out. I mentally cursed myself, instantly.

Hagrid paused for a moment before nodding his head, clearly understanding what I meant. "Why don't ye come in?" He asked me, moving out of the doorway so I could walk in. I stood for a few seconds, unsure, before heading in. "I've jus' boiled a pot of tea, d'ye want some?" I nodded my head, feeling a bit sick to my stomach.

He busied himself, grabbing a large mug from the cupboard above him. "Not got any small mugs so this'll 'ave t' do," he explained, filling it with hot tea. He placed it on the table along with a jug of milk and a ramekin of sugar. I sat at the table, pouring a splash of milk into the mug. "Emma and Leo will only do what's best for ye, ye know," he finished with as I took a sip of the boiling tea.

I put the mug down and nodded my head. "I know," I muttered. "I'm just not prepared to run anymore," I explained to him, to which he seemed to understand. "Last time, I spent two years with a group of girls I could've called my sisters." I paused for a moment to take a deep breath and stop tears from filling in my eyes. "This time, I've met people I never thought could care so deeply about me and I could do for them."

Hagrid had his brows furrowed into a concentrated look. "This int about that Malfoy, is it?" He asked me, causing me to look up at him, immediately in confusion. His expression softened at my look. "Ye don't really think everyone doesn't know abou' ye both, do ye?" He remarked, a smile creeping on to his face. "Even us teachers can tell there's something there, ye know."

I nodded my head in understanding, remembering my talk with Dumbledore. "Emma and Leo'll do what they can to keep ye safe, even if it means moving ye," Hagrid told me. I knew he wasn't lying. "But if ye want t' stay, ye need t' fight for what ye want," he added on, sitting straighter. "They'll listen t' ye, even if ye think they won't."

I looked up at Hagrid once more, finishing my big mug of tea quicker than I had anticipated. It had seemed as though I had been nervously taking gulps as Hagrid spoke. "It's not just Draco," I said, beginning to crack my knuckles. "It's all my friends, too. I never thought I would meet anyone and become closer to them than I did with everyone from Beauxbatons but I did."

Hagrid opened a tin in the middle of the table and held it out to me. It looked as though it was filled with a sort of sticky toffee pudding. I didn't want to seem rude so I accepted it. I took a bite and it was very hard to chew. I placed the remains on a saucer in front of me so I could chew the jaw-aching toffee.

"Hogwarts will always be ye home an' if Emma and Leo can't understand that then they're jus' bein' cruel," he nodded his head as he spoke, as though he was certain with every word he was saying. "I'spose they've sent ye an Owl already." I nodded my head in reply, swallowing the toffee. "Well, ye need't speak t' them abou' how ye feeling, they'll probably take a dislikin' t' the idea of comin' back at first but they'll come round."

I nodded my head, looking down at my lap for a moment, feeling tears brimming my eyes. I was interrupted by the sound of a small clock chiming. I looked up to see the time and I wiped my tears away, quickly. "I better get heading back up to the castle," I told Hagrid, who was already clearing away my mug.

"I'll see ye around, Tasmin," he nodded his head. I forced a smile before thanking him for the tea and said goodbye, leaving him alone in the hut. I walked back up to the castle, relishing every moment of it but crying the whole way. A large part of me believed I wouldn't be coming back here, as much as I didn't want to leave.