I Wish I Was Dumb

Chapter 4

*MATURE THEMES AND LANGUAGE*

i let him push me down. i did what had to be done. it was salty, i wish i could push him away but he was holding onto my hair. i cried during the whole process.

i made sure to stop before he did anything in my mouth and i got up and left. i started to walk and not even 10 minutes into the walk i was being cat called. "sexy" "gorgeous" "look at that ass" it made me upset so i brought out my taser. i didn't get an opportunity to use it though. before i went home i went to in-n-out to get something for my siblings and i to eat. as i was walking in i saw him. i was scared that he would notice me but then i remembered one key detail about tonight... i was wearing my mask. thank God i decided to wear it tonight. i ordered my food and as i was about to walk out i heard the most outrageous thing "no bev !? most importantly how the fuck you gonna eat three meals? hungry hungry hippo head ass" he started laughing . i turned around to see that the guy from the club was the one who made that comment. i glared at him and walked out hastily, in fear of him pulling out his gun.

all of a sudden i got chills down my spine. just thinking about what would happen if he pulled the trigger and my brains was splattered in the floor. the police wouldn't care, and my siblings wouldn't be able to survive.

I got home at 2 am. first things first i brushed my teeth as soon as i got home. i put the food in the fridge and went to check on my siblings. they were asleep in my bed. i let them sleep there, i tucked them in and gave them both kisses on the forehead. i ended up sleeping on the floor next to them that night.

i woke up at 6:30, meaning i was late for school. i rushed and brushed my teeth and made breakfast for my siblings. i didn't have time to look for clean clothes so i just wore a grey off shoulder body con dress. it showed my figure more than i would want my clothes too. on a regular day i would just wear a hoodie, leggings , and slides but i woke up late so i picked the first thing i saw. i ran out and made the bus just in time, if i were even a second later i would have to walk to school.

i had to lay my edges on the bus, i may dress lazy to school but i can never leave the house without my edges slayed. i got to school 10 minuets late. "might as well take my time going to english then" i thought to myself. i bumped into something hard as i was zoning out. "i did not just walk into a wall" i said as i was thinking out loud. i backed up and i saw three tall guys. i was about to apologize until the one in the middle grabbed my waist. "you gotta stop running into people...or guys like us might do something to you." i didn't comprehend what he said until he threw me over his shoulder. i kicked and punched but i wasn't able to do any damage. the two other boys laughed at the fact that i was helpless. so i just stopped trying with tears running down my eyes. we were headed to the boys bathroom that was upstairs, no one had classes upstairs for first period so no one was in the bathroom unless they were skipping to get a smoke break, do some drugs, or planning on doing "it" in the bathroom.

he put me next to the wall and held his hand on my neck and lifted me up. it hurt and i couldn't breathe. i tried screaming but all he did was make his grip on my neck tighter. i was starting to see black when they heard the toilet flush. he dropped me on the floor and they ran. i wasn't fully unconscious yet when i heard the person come out of the stall. he laughed and i heard the sound of someone taking a picture and they left. they didn't even wash their hands.

i woke up about 10 minutes later and stood up. my arms and legs were sore from the kicking and punching and my voice was gone . i checked the time and there was only 15 more minutes left of first period. i ran downstairs as fast as i could and i finally reached my class. i felt heavy stares on me. i instantly regretting every decision leading up to this moment. mr M called me over to his desk and told me that i had gotten a penalty for showing up so late. he asked if i had an excuse. i live in a place where if you snitch you get shot up, and if i told the truth anyway no one would do anything about it because no one cares. "n-no, i don't have an excuse..." i said with my raspy voice. my throat hurt so bad. he wrote me a note and he told me to go to the principals office.

i walked back up the stairs to go see mr williams.
"you've been late 9 times this month and it's only the 17th. i know you aren't financially stable to be charged for truancy so i have a deal for you." i prayed to God that he wouldn't try to use me like quavon or those three boys. "you will tutor a student" i let out a sigh. Thank God. "may i ask which student mr williams?" i asked. "His name is Marqués Bryant. he doesn't come to school often and his grades are struggling. i want you to tutor him and make sure he comes to school as much as possible. you will meet in my office after school today to meet him." the job didn't seem hard... in fact it seemed pretty easy. "yes sir, thank you sir"

i spent the whole day wondering what marqués looked like or how his personality was like. the day went by fast and i was nervous to enter mr williams office. what i saw made my jaw drop.