MIN || BTS 8TH MEMBER

"min, i love you..." (pt.2)

"ok, summing up: four portions of donkatsu, three portions of cold noodles, one portion of bibimbap, two portions of kimbap and a portion of pajeon. four bottles of red wine and two of white wine. that's all?"
asked the waiter, now used to our large portions after all these years.
"yes, thank you" we said in chorus.

after about ten minutes the courses arrived and we started eating. i did not eat much, in fact, i only tasted a few pieces of kimbap and a small slice of pajeon, and then i focused myself on drinking, quickly emptying two bottles of red wine and then moving to the counter, where i ordered three bottles of soju, in order to avoid unnecessary telling-offs from the others.

i returned at the table feeling lighter in my legs "that was what i needed" i thought as i began to see the boys, still sitting at the table.
i slightly stumbled until i reached my seat, letting myself go as soon as i arrived, dropping my head on the table between my crossed arms and accidentally bumping into hoseok's chopsticks, who was sitting at the head of the table.

"you stink of alcohol, min how much did you fucking drink?" hope asked me, sensing the strong smell of alcohol i had. hearing this question, all the boys turned towards me.
i was used to drinking and, despite my young age, i could say that i could handle alcohol better than people my age. but this time i could say i went beyond my limits: i wanted to empty my mind of all these thoughts. it was too much for me: all these emotions, it was undoubtedly too much for me to handle. i needed to let off steam.
and so, even before i knew it, i began to sob. tears streamed down my cheeks and i couldn't and didn't want to do anything to stop them.

"oh fuck, min! why are you crying? what do i have to do, guys? " hoseok asked the boys, who had all got up, worried about me.
"min? min? fuck min, answer me!! how much did you fucking drink? " i heard the voice of hoseok more and more muffled, my head was so heavy and my sobs made me unable from answering his question.
"i saw her drinking at the table, but she was fine...then she said she had to go to the bathroom ..." said seokjin, who, going past jimin, headed towards me, worried.
"i don't think she's been in the bathroom for half an hour, she probably went to drink, i saw a counter full of alcohol over there" jungkook said, concerned.

"let me pass, i'll take care of this. it's not the first time i've seen her like this, now i know what to do. give me a bottle of water and some tissues. i take her out to get her some fresh air. don't worry."
that voice. even if muffled, i would have recognized that voice among a thousand. i felt a pair of strong arms pulling me up. i leaned on him still crying, resting my head on his chest and clinging to his shoulders and letting myself be dragged into the private garden behind, where you could access by a door next to the room we were staying in.
"hyung, hyung, here is the bottle of water and the tissues, be careful!" said hoseok, handing the two items to the boy who was supporting me.

once out, the boy laid me on the bench, passing me a bottle of fresh water, and taking off his sweatshirt due to the half-day heat, remaining with a black short-sleeved shirt, which highlighted the muscles on which he had lately worked. i drank the fresh transparent water that was contained in the bottle, feeling immediately better. i walked up and down the little garden supported by him, taking deep breaths. i felt much better after about fifteen minutes and i sat on the bench again, still a little bit tired and weak in my legs, followed by the boy who had helped me up to that moment.

"now explain to me what the fuck you were trying to do. are you completely crazy? do you know how worried we were? it has been ages since the last time i saw seokjin-hyung so worried. you can't even imagine what i thought when i saw you come back like this. " the boy, who was scolding me in a hard and cold voice, was now sitting next to me and was looking at me with anger.
"i ... i needed it ok? i let myself be caught by the moment, you know very well what i went through in the past because of alcohol, i'm not a fool. i'm fine now, thanks for your help. " i replied, trying my best not to look at him. i would not have been able to handle his gaze.
"why did you need to do this to yourself? why were you crying? "

here is the question. what could i say?

"it's none of your business, yoongi." i said, getting up from the bench and heading towards the door.

my action, however, was stopped by the older boy who stopped me grabbing my wrist with his hand and dragging me against the wall, where he blocked me in his arms.

"you are not going anywhere. now explain to me what the fuck is happening to you: you've been avoiding me for days now, you don't talk to me anymore, you don't eat almost anything, you started drinking again and now you start to cry after getting heavily drunk. you will drive me crazy, you know? do you understand how much it hurts me to see you like this or you simply just don't care about it? " the boy shouted in front of me, running a hand through his hair. i felt tears forming in my eyes and i tried to lower my gaze, escaping from his dark eyes.

"look at me. i want you to fucking look at me! " he exclaimed "now explain to me why the fuck you were crying. what the fuck is going on with you? "

"do you want to know what's going on, yoongi? do you want to know what the fuck is going on? it happened that i fell in love with the boy in front of me and i don't know how the fuck i should act. do you want to know why i don't talk to you? because every fucking time i look at you my legs tremble and i feel butterflies in my stomach like a fucking teenager everytime i look at you. i have done everything to stop these emotions, to ignore what you make me feel. i tried to talk less to you, i tried to ignore you, to avoid you. but i can't. you may wonder why i have done this. the answer is because i care too much about our friendship, i didn't want to ruin everything as i usually do. i care too much about you to put you in the situation where you have to choose between breaking my heart or faking to love me. but here we are now. so, what do i have to lose now? i love you, min yoongi, and the emotions you make me feel are what makes me cry. "

[the end of part II]

stay tuned for the last part!
hope you liked it!
-meow