You wanna know why I smile?
Because if I dont theyll ask questions...and when I tell them im sad theyll call me "emotional " and when I act sensitive towards it because im actually hurting theyll call me "weak" so thats why I smile ..but when i cant take it and message one of my "friends" they ask whats wrong? Then when i tell them they hit me back with "dont worry everything will be okay" like that's enough.. i came to you for comfort okay... so stop it stop pushing me away... why do I have to cut myself for yall to see that im hurting or something? Why cant yall just care?why do I have to hurt myself for yall to give a fuck? Why do I have to write a fucking suicidal note for yall to pay attention? Why do I have to bleed to get a little attention... I just does want a call from yall.. a hug from yall...a text helping me from yall... but what do I get nothing... then I become distant .. then I become silent then youll wake up one day and hear "tima's death" then youll ask why? With the little signs I showed yall.. why yall didn't understand them... so ill continue to fake smile to make yall happy, to all my ex's who hurt me in the past its not yall faults its my fault for believing y'all would be the best and show me yall care for me 💯its none of yall faults its mines for having such a big heart okay.. so dont ever feel its yall caused me to commit suicide its my stress with work,school,family and health.. so im sorry im really sorry for not "dealing with my problems " and "being strong" its not my fault I had enough.
