The Falling Game (Completed) [R-18]

1 : Moving On

April 9, 2020

It's your birthday today, Dr. Ibarra. And I want to wish you a happy birthday. I pray that you would have good health and long life. Idagdag mo na iyung smiling face mo everyday. Ngiti ka din kase minsan, huwag iyung palagi kang nakasimangot. Nababawasan tuloy iyung kaguwapuhan mo. I hope you will celebrate it better than we did last time. Sorry ulit. Sana mapatawad mo na ako -

Janine Boromeo

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Janine

There are times that people don't actually realize the importance of someone unless taken away.

Your heart sees what the eyes cannot.

Your emotions manipulate the things you don't usually get to understand.

But deep inside, your heart knows what's missing, what's lacking. Even though the truth is, you can't have that missing piece you wanted.

I was staring at his ring while purposely thinking of him. Isang taon na 'tong nasa akin but I never dared to wear it. Para kaseng pakiramdam ko wala akong karapatang isuot. Ang kapal ng mukha ko kung isusuot ko ang singsing.

Iyong singsing na hindi ko magawang isuot kahit na akin naman. See the irony of it. Meron bang singsing na na binigay sa 'yo ng kusa pero hindi mo magawang isuot?

Is that even something I should be proud of? Is it something I could boast of?

This is a love story. Kahit sabihin niyang hindi ipipilit ko paring love story ang meron kami noon iyun nga lang at hindi lahat ng love story ay maganda ang ending.

Unfortunately, ours didn't end like a fairytale. Parang horror pa nga ata iyung sa amin ni Ibarra.

Ni Dr. Ibarra I should say. I don't even have the right to address him on a first name basis now.

That's how distant we are.

Saglit akong napatingin sa wallclock ng opisina ko.

Shit! Kailangan ko pa palang dumaan sa ICU ng neuro ward mamaya. Kailangan ko kaseng makausap iyung pamilya nung pasyente ko para sa kaniyang operasyon sa susunod na araw. Sana lang ay wala dun si Dr. Ibarra. I don't want to ruin his day. Birthday pa man din niya.

Kinuha ko na lamang iyung phone ko at iyung maliit na shoulder bag ko. I placed there everything.

For almost a year, I've learned to use sticky notes. Being head of surgery is not that easy. Madaming notes na kailangan kong imemorya iyun nga lang at hindi ko kayang isipin lahat. That's why I needed to take it down. Thanks for the sticky notes.

Kadalasan nagiging makalimutin na din ako. Sa kinadami rami ba naman ng iniisip ko.

Mahirap, madaming ginagawa pero mahal ko ang trabaho ko. Nagawa ko ngang ipagpalit ang lalaking mahal ko para lang dito sa trabaho ko eh.

" Hi Dra!" Bati sa akin ni Vana. Siya iyung nurse na palaging kalandian ni Dr. Ibarra noon at hanggang ngayon. Well that's what I thought before. Para akong napahiya sa aking sarili ng malaman kong pinsan pala ni Dr. Ibarra si Vana. Akala ko kase noon kalandian niya talaga. Wala eh, assumera ako noon. Feelingera pa nga eh.

" Uhm iyung pinsan mo?" Shit Ja! Nagtanong ka pa talaga.

" Asus si Dra. Kaaalis lang ni Dr. Ibarra kasama si Dra. Flores. Mukhang may date" Wika niya pa sa akin.