Lonely Christmas - A Sailor Moon Fanfiction

Chapter 12 - Christmas Gifts

Usako and I spring apart and look like two wildly blushing deer caught in headlights. “Mo-- Motoki…” Usako stammers, then fiddles with the rabbit in her arms.

I place one hand behind my head and scramble for the right words. Now would be a good a time as any to explain to Motoki what was going on, but Usako never told me whether or not that’s what she wanted… and while I would love to make assumptions, I don’t want to mess this up if I have a chance.

He has his hands on his hips as he waits for an answer from either of us. I mean, he’d have to be a complete moron not to realize what we could possibly be talking about; he just saw us with my arms around Usako, cupping her chin in one of my hands. If he couldn’t piece together a conclusion from that, we have bigger issues at hand.

But he’s no idiot, and based on his devious smile, it seems he knows exactly what’s going on and just wants one of us to say it. We absolutely owe him an explanation, but that doesn’t make me want to punch that grin off his face any less.

“There… seemed to have been a misunderstanding between Usagi and I,” I begin. I’m trying to leave any possible opportunity for her to jump in and tell both of us what she wants, but she still seems to be paralyzed with silence and shock. What I wouldn’t give to be inside her mind as her eyes jump between the two of us. “...about what she wanted for Christmas.”

Usako looks up at me as Motoki glances down at my gift in her arms. “So you’re worried I might be angry that he gave you a stuffed animal?” he asks her. I suppress a growl in my throat. He knows that’s not what I mean and is trying to get her to talk, but I say nothing... I also can’t help but hope she takes the bait.

She looks alarmed at this most preposterous accusation and smiles a little, as if that’s the stupidest reason in the world for her to look like a puffy, red wreck. Usako shakes her head, her long blonde pigtails waving wildly along with her, then draws in a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Motoki,” she manages to get out in a soft tone. I see him stiffen and wonder if I should let them have this conversation privately, but I’m the one frozen in place now. When Usako drew in a breath, I did too, and I’ve been holding it ever since as I wait for her verdict. “Mamoru and I… just realized we have feelings for each other.”

Wow, Usako… she went right for the jugular there, and even I almost feel bad for Motoki. Way the let the poor guy down easy.

A brief flash of surprise dances along Motoki’s face but it’s gone in an instant. I wonder if he’s either taken aback by the girl’s direct hit, as I am, or if Usako’s and my feelings for each other is just as much a revelation to him as it was to us. Suddenly, a new idea strikes me as I look at his face turning from shock to pleasant smile: he’s known the latter all along.

“Well… it’s about time,” he says, then awkwardly sticks his hands in his pockets. Usako and I openly gape at him and he lets out a genuinely humored laugh. “Mamoru, you come into the arcade and I always see you immediately look around for Usagi. I know you’re happy to see me too, but you always have a little more pep in your step when she’s around. And you, Usagi… even before we were dating, and especially after, all you seemed able to talk about ‘how annoying Mamoru was,’ or how funny something he said was while we were all out together, or little stories about when you were at his house decorating.” He shakes his head and looks at us almost sympathetically. “I’ve tried to get you guys to admit you liked each other for a while now. I don’t know why you both were in such denial about it.”

I look at Usako beside me just as she turns her head and our eyes meet. She’s still red as a beet and looking a little flabberghasted by this whole thing, as am I. There’s a moment of silence between all three of us before Motoki takes a couple of steps toward Usagi and puts his hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry about me, okay? I was expecting this to happen. I’m just glad we gave it a go. I just want you to be happy, and if that means being with my best friend instead of me… I’ll live. I can tell you two belong together way more than you and I do.”

Motoki pulls her into an embrace that she returns with earnest. “Thank you, Motoki.” Usako’s voice is muffled against his shoulder. By the way she squeezes him I can tell she’s still riddled with guilt about this whole thing. “I’m sorry. I really am. I didn’t mean to lead you on, or talk about Mamoru too much. I guess I failed on both counts.”

“Don’t worry about it. I know you’re in good hands with him.” With a wink and a short laugh, he says, “And don’t fret… Mamoru, I’ll continue to grace your life as your best friend and Usagi, I’ll still give you free tokens for the Sailor V game at the arcade. I’ll see you both later.” Usako gives him a half smile that I mimic as he nods to her, then looks up at me. With a “merry Christmas,” as a goodbye, he turns to wade back into the crowd just a short distance from where we’re standing.

I exhale a long, slow breath as Usako and I stand there until we can’t see Motoki’s dirty-blonde head anymore. Then we remain there for a beat longer in silence.

"Usako," I say finally, but at the same time she says, "Mamo-chan?"

‘Mamo-chan.’ I like that. We pause and memories from the night she came to decorate my tree hits me like a sack of bricks. This time, I’ll be the one to speak first. This is what I should have said that night as soon as she walked into my apartment instead of trying to set up some stupid, magical moment. Here, in the freezing cold between two brick buildings, just as some guy on a loudspeaker in the distance causes feedback to rip through every speaker in the square, is a perfect time as any. “I love you.”

Luckily, she seems to like my choice of moment, too. I don’t need a tree lighting ceremony; the light in her eyes as I say those three beautiful words to her is enough to illuminate my heart forever.

“I love you too, Mamo-chan.”