Flowers for You (DaiSuga Hanahaki)

At Least It's Over

     The next day, Daichi received a call from Michimiya saying that the surgery had gone well and that she should be released from the hospital relatively soon. He was happy for her, but couldn't help feeling a pang of guilt for not being able to return her feelings. It's just bad luck. I wouldn't be able to stop either of them from getting it, he tried to remind himself. Still, this feeling of guilt remained.

     Daichi called up the team so they could finally all visit together like Hinata had been wanting for a while now. It would be a nice surprise. They gathered outside the hospital. Hinata and Yamaguchi wouldn't make eye contact with Daichi though. Yamaguchi seemed to be avoiding him too. Even Tsukishima looked guilty.

     "Get that sad look off your face!" Nishinoya exclaimed, smacking Hinata's shoulder. "We're here to see Suga-san! You can be dopey later."

     "Right. Now, I shouldn't have to remind you, but remember to be mindful of your noise level. We don't want to disturb the other patients," Ennoshita adds. He shot a look at Tanaka and Nishinoya.

     "I can be very quiet," Tanaka huffs.

     "Let's get going then," Daichi laughs. He leads the group through the hospital and up to Sugawara's room. When they get to his room, he knocks loudly on the door before they all file in.

     Suga beamed to see all the people that had come to visit him, though he somehow looked even worse than before. His skin was bordering on somewhat translucent. His bones were more pronounced due to even more weight loss. Daichi was amazed that he could still smile.

     "Aww, you guys!" Suga laughed.

     "SUGA-SAN!" Nishinoya yelled, nearly jumping into Suga's arm for a hug. Hinata quickly joined him. Everyone took turns giving hugs.

     "So, what's the occasion?" Suga asked, glancing around at all his teammates crammed into the small room.

     "We all just wanted to come and visit you," Yamaguchi says. "It was Hinata's idea. This just happened to be the weekend when we were all free."

     "Thank you."

     "When are you going to get out?" Tanaka asks. "We all miss you at practice."

     Suga's smile fell instantly. A guilty expression crossed his face and he sighed quietly. "I'm not sure, Tanaka. I promise I'll tell you all when I start to get better." He smiled again, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "So don't worry about me too much, OK?"

     "OK. I'll try."

     "Well, now that you're all here, tell me about what's been going on!" Suga exclaimed. "I've been stuck in this stupid bed for too long."

     The team talked and talked until the sun started to set, but no one wanted to go home. It almost felt, normal. Everyone was having a good time. Hinata and Kageyama quickly feel back into their old argumentative ways, which Suga was quick to chide them for. Nishinoya and Tanaka were just as boisterous as ever, poor Ennoshita constantly had to remind them to be quieter. Even Tsukishima seemed happy to be there. The conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Suga's mom, who brought meat buns for the whole team (Asahi had told her everyone was coming).

     Everyone was enjoying their meat buns when suddenly Suga started choking and coughing violently. Soft petals spilled from his mouth, perfect and white and soft. Everyone looked on in horror, caught in the panic and unsure what to do.

     "GET A DOCTOR!" Suga's mom screamed. Both Hinata and Nishinoya bolted out the door and dragged a doctor in barely a minute later.

     Nurses ushered everyone out and brought the group to the waiting room. Asahi tried his best to comfort Suga's mom who was nearly hysterical, sobbing that he should have gotten the surgery. Yamaguchi cried into Tsukishima's chest, who looked like he was trying not to cry himself. Hinata held Kageyama's hand so tightly his knuckles were turning white, but it looked like Kageyama was clinging on for dear life. All the second years were gathered in a circle, talking in hushed whispers.

     Daichi didn't know what to do with himself, so he stood in the middle of his team helplessly. He was the captain. He should be the one comforting his teammates instead of standing like a useless lump. Please let him be OK. Please. Please just let him be OK. I swear I'll tell him as soon as I can see him. It doesn't matter who's there with me. I'll tell him. Please please, please, Daichi prayed.

     An eternity passed, maybe even longer. Daichi stood and prayed and prayed and prayed. He didn't realize he had been clenching his fists until he heard someone walking towards them. Everyone looked up to see a doctor hurrying towards them.

     "Excuse me, which one of you is Sugawara Koushi's mother?" He asked, looking around at the group of teen boys that had gathered in the waiting room and quickly realized there was only one woman with them.

     "I am." Suga's mother raised her hand.

     "To preserve patient privacy, I will ask you to step into a private room with me." A sinking feeling grew in Daichi's stomach and he suddenly felt sick.

     "I'll be back soon, boys." Suga's mom waved and followed the doctor into a private room.

     Maybe an hour or so later the adults emerged from the back. The doctor was muttering something to Suga's mom, who was in tears again.

     Nishinoya bolted to his feet. "Is he OK? Can we see him?" His voice was frantic and on the verge of breaking. All she could manage was to shake her head.

     "What...?" Asahi covered his mouth with his hand, tears already spilling over his eyes.

     "No no no no no. He can't just be gone like that," Yamaguchi muttered. All the color had drained from his face. Tsukishima was crying already.

     Hinata fell to his knees, shoulders shaking, still clinging to Kageyama. Nishinoya buried his face in his hands. Tanaka just looked lost.

     He can't just have died. There is no way in hell Sugawara Koushi just died in the hospital because I was too much of a fucking coward to confess when I had the chance. There is no fucking way I just killed him. No. Fucking. Way. Daichi crouched down and slammed his fists against the ground. "GODDAMIT KOUSHI! IT WAS YOU! It was you..." His voice broke.

     The doctor approached Daichi. "Are you Sawamura Daichi?" Daichi managed to nod. He was handed an envelope addressed to him. "I was asked to deliver this to you. There was also one for his mother. I'm sorry for your loss." The doctor gave him a sympathetic pat on the back.

     After that, Daichi didn't remember much. There were tears. Hinata and Yamaguchi were trying to apologize for something, but he wouldn't let them. He also remembered a half-assed attempt to comfort Asahi. The next morning, he woke to a text from Suga's phone. It was his mom. 

Suga
Today

Hello Sawamura-kun, this is Koushi's mom. Dr. Satori informed me that he
also wrote a letter to you. I don't know if you've read Koushi's letter yet, but I 
want to assure you that you are not at fault for any of this. Feel free to contact me 
at any time. 

     Daichi didn't even respond to the message, just stared at it, rereading the words over and over. It's a bit cruel to use Suga's phone, isn't it? Then again, she didn't have any other way to contact me. He stayed in his room for most of the day, unable to bring himself to open the letter. It was calling out to him, begging him to open it. Just a plain white envelope. 

     1:48 a.m. Daichi finally worked up the courage to open Suga's letter.