Sunshine | gaara crack fic

Four

Y'all said my brain vomit was high quality brain vomit and random crap was acceptable so I here ya go

::

Ellie smirked. Naruto was a gift from the heavens. he was over every day, chattering of Gaara's ear about school and ramen and the cat that he passed on the way there. He had the rare talent that was being able to spin a short, boring event such as tripping on the way to school into a long, intriguing story.

Around him, Gaara was happy, and that was technically what she was there for.

With Gaara spending all available time with the blonde knucklehead, Ellie was able to do whatever the hell she wanted. She got herself into some odd situations, but always slipped through it and twisted it into an amusing tale to tell Gaara, Shukaku, and maybe even Naruto later.

But this...Well, Ellie was just plain annoyed.

Sighing, Ellie saw her breath fog up as she tugged her red jacket closer.

How did she even end up in a prison cell in Kumo?

A guard crossed past her cell, shooting a quick, wary glance at the young shivering girl.

"Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw.." Ellie muttered.

Through the power of weed, god, and anime, Ellie willed a bobby pin into existence. Squinting at the dark pin cupped in her hand, Ellie prayed that she wasn't high and not hallucinating, and forced the bobby pin into the keyhole.

She had only really seen things like this in movies, but this was a crackhead fanfiction. After a little bit of wriggling it here and there, the door popped open with a creak.

Huh.

She stepped out, smirking. "NOTHING CAN CONTAIN MY CHAOS!" Ellie cackled. mostly for dramatic effect. Just as she was about to leave and head back to Konoha, a thought struck her.

Kumo was the village hidden in the clouds. That was because they were so highly elevated, living on top of the tallest mountains.

And there was something she had always wanted to do.

::

Half a day later, she stood proudly on the peak of the tallest mountain in the world. Ellie surveyed the various landscapes and bustling people beneath her.

Struggling to contain her snickers, Ellie spread her arms out wide, standing taller than anyone in the world. "I see no god up here..." She cackled. "Other than me!" With that, she front flipped into the empty air. As she hurtled down the literal tallest god damn mountain in the world, she shrieked, "WORTH IT!"

::

Ellie hummed a little tune as she slipped between the shinobi, forcing herself down the halls.

Many ROOT operatives turned to look at her oddly, but brushed it off. Sure, she was a random kid that shouldn't have any business in a secret place such as this, but she walked around with such confidence that they all just assumed she was supposed to be there. Besides, they all started out very young, didn't they? It was remarkable that the young girl kept her cheery attitude, although the song she sang under her breath was mildly disconcerting.

"I smell a little bitch, hiding in the leaves, he's got one eye, and a weave,

I heard he was talking, shit about me, so I'll chop off his dick, and be happy."

The operatives shrugged. They all were fucked up mentally, anyways.

Ellie continued to hum her song as she kicked open Danzo's office door. The door closed shut behind her, locking with a distinct click.