Sunshine | gaara crack fic

Seven

Lmao Kami back at it again, as well as changing the cover since it was way too bland and old for this crack story

Also if you dislike the name for the ferret I'm sorry I couldn't decide and ended up doing a random wheel-decide—

When they fell out of the portal, screams erupted on the streets. Many civilians stared, wide eyed, their jaws dropped as screams of horror rattled out, at the redhead demon boy.

Gaara, his face blank, opened his mouth and screamed back, followed by a chorus of screams from both Ellie and Naruto. They all wore matching blank expressions.

It startled and confused the general public out of their screaming, and Gaara sighed from his spot lying on the dusty road.

"Move, I'm gay."

Not even bothering to stand, a magical carpet made of sand from his gourd appeared beneath the trio, and it flew them over to the Kazekage tower.

They crashed through the window, and the Council of Elders and the Kazekage got blessed with the sight of their jinchuriki carrying a ferret who was snarling at everyone, accompanied by a foreign jinchuriki and and a random girl who were chatting away about fashion choices.

"Hey bitches."

Temari stifled a laugh, masking it as a cough. A few glances were briefly shot her way, but for the most part everyone was staring at Gaara in surprise.

"Hm, you know what, I think I'll just come by later." Gaara yawned, and the sand engulfed the three kids. With that, they were gone.

There a long pause of confusion, before Chiyo erupted into mad cackles of laughter. Everyone else continued staring at the spot Gaara had disappeared.

::

"Viva la revolution!" Ellie screamed.

The crowd rioted and cheered, and from their spot on a stage made of sand, Gaara and his two friends grinned.

"What do we want!?" Naruto shouted.

Before anyone could answer in unison, a man yelled back,

"The death of the Kazekage!"

The three blanched. "Um," Naruto scratched his head. "No. I thought we were only overthrowing him? He can like, start a cactus farm or something. Just, not be the Kazekage. He sucks at that."

"Oh."

"Let's try this again." Gaara sighed. "What do we want!?"

"A cactus farm!"

"Fuck! No." Gaara cursed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Lmao your village is so fucking stupid.

It's your village too.

Haha, yeah no.

"What do we want." Ellie said rather forcefully, eyes blazing as if to dare anyone to get it wrong.

"A better kage?" The crowd tentatively tried.

The trio erupted into smiles and self-satisfied smirks. "Yes!" Gaara sighed dramatically. "And when do we want it?"

"NOW!"

"FUCK YEAH!"

::

"And just like that..." Gaara continued his sorrowful story, holding the crowd's undivided attention. "He whipped..." the crowd held their breath. "And nae-nae'd out of my life."