If You Met Me First | (COMPLETED)

7

'If you met me first, would you have loved me more than the love you had for her?' his wife asked, crying and sniffing.

Napatingin lamang siya dito, 'I don't know...'

'You surely know the answer. You just don't want to anwer me. Are you scared that it's going to hurt me?' Laikynn laughed sarcastically, 'You have been hurting me, Ben. Ano ba naman yung masaktan ako sa simpleng sagot mo sa tanong ko?'

'I knew it. Hindi ko na pala dapat tinanong. But even though I know it would hurt me, I still want to hear the answer from you.'

He shook his head, 'I don't really know, why do you always pressure me? Can't you see that this is also hard for me? Kapag nasasaktan kita, ang dami nilang nasasabi. Kapag ako yung nasaktan, bakit hindi pwede?'

He turned around because he don't want Laikynn to see that he's also crying, 'Im sorry. Wala akong maibibigay na sagot sayo.'

'That's where you're good at, you are always running away. Ben, please man up. Because I am trying my best not to give up on you...'

'BRO, from breakfast until dinner mo na ba yan?' Diego said, pertaining to his alcohol drink. 'By the way, this is from Kiara. Pinaabot niya sayo.'

Diego gave him a brown envelope, inihagis naman niya ito sa basurahan, 'I don't have enough energy to open that.' Ben said in between his drinks.

'Bro, too much alcohol can put you in danger. Whatever your problem is, talk about it with your wife.'

He laughed sarcastically, 'I don't think it will work. We've been arguing about Kiara over and over again, I'm so fed up with her dramas.'

'Eh, baka naman kase you don't give her the assurance that she deserves?' Diego said.

'Assurance?' natawa siya, 'Anong assurance pa ba ang gusto niya? She already had my last name. She's just really insecure of Kiara.'

Diego sighed, 'Just confess the truth already, Bro. You gave her the benefit of doubt. She knows that she can never replace kiara in your heart. Bro, believe me, it's hard to love someone whose not yet done loving someone else.'

'It's like you are waiting for something that's never going to happen-sobrang labo. Imagine she has your last name but she could never have your heart? It's deadly.'

Ben sighed, 'I don't know what to do anymore, Bro. She never appreciate my effort. I've been trying to love her-but then, Kiara came back.'

'Got it!' sigaw nito. 'You are just trying. Means, your wife doesn't want you to try-she wants you to wholeheartedly love her, not because you have to but because you want to.'

Diego took a heavy sigh, 'Now if you feel like you are not you, if you feel like you are trying to be someone else, you have to choose.'

Ben agreed, 'I've been thinking about that. And I finally made my decision.'

He stood up and decided to pick up his wife from her work. Kinawayan nito ang isang matangkad na lalaki, he could see the sadness in her eyes kahit pa nakangiti ito on the outside.

Laikynn didn't even noticed that his car stopped in front of her, bumaba siya para magpakita rito at halatang nagulat naman ito.

'Let's have dinner.' pag-iimbita niya rito, nilapitan niya ito at binuksan ang pinto.

Umiwas ito ng tingin, 'Meron pa akong pupuntahan.'

'I said, let's have dinner.' He said, ayaw niyang maubusan na naman ng pasensya. 'And it's getting late already. Come on, sumakay ka na.'

'Let go of me, Ben, ano ba!' sigaw nito ng binuhat niya ito at sapilitang isinakay sakanyang kotse.

'Kakasuhan kita ng kidnapping!' sigaw nito ng umaandar na sila. 'Ben! Ano ba! Stop the car!'

He chuckled, 'You are not going anywhere. Sasama ka sa akin, sa ayaw at sa gusto mo.'

Laikynn kept on shouting at him hanggang sa nakarating na sila sakanilang pupuntahan. Ben decided to take her out to talk about their situation and status. He finally made his decision.

'Come on, kumain ka na. I know you're hungry.' Ben invited Laikynn to eat, hindi kasi nito pinapansin ang ini-order niyang pagkain.

'Wala akong gana kumain. And pwede ba? If you want to eat, just eat alone.' inis na sabi nito at akmang tatayo.

Ben held her wrist, 'Please don't make a scene here, Laikynn. Huwag mo akong ipahiya sa ibang tao.'

Sumunod naman ito at muling umayos ng upo, 'Why is it easy for you to talk to me and act like nothing happened?'

'The reason why I picked you up is to talk about the problem and solve it.' he stated.

'What, now? Go. Talk.' ma-awtoridad na sabi nito.

Tiningnan niya muna ito, pinag-aralan niya ang mukha nito, her eyes, her pointed nose, her kissable lips, her eyebrows, her dimples, he memorized every detail of her face.

'I need space, Laikynn.'

LAIKYN'S jaw almost dropped, hindi siya nakapagsalita sakanyang narinig. Ang lakas ng tibok ng kanyang puso at pakiramdam niya anytime ay papatak na ang kanyang mga luha.

'I mean, we both need space.' casual na sabi nito sakanya, 'It's the only thing I know, we can't just sit and talk about it then argue over and over again. It's tiring... wala namang mananalo satin.'

Nag-iwas siya ng tingin kay Ben, anong sasabihin niya? Wala siyang naibaon na lakas ng loob para pigilan ito sa gusto nito. It just hurt her to finally hear his answer-at talagang idinaan pa niya sa space.

'Do you really want that?' tanong niya rito, 'Do we really need space?'

Ben nodded, 'We need to heal, Kynn. Hindi mo man maintindihan sa ngayon, but the following days, you'll thank me for this space. Kailangan ko lang rin ng oras para makapag-isip ng tama.'

'You've been pressuring me to give you an answer and in able for me to answer your question, I need time to think. Ayokong may pagsisihan sa magiging decision ko. If I'm going to decide today, I might ruin our future.' paliwanag nito.

'You already did.' she smiled sadly at natigilan naman si Ben. 'I dedicated my whole life with you, Ben. And you're right, maybe I can thank you later for your suggestion. Tama ka, nakakapagod pag-awayan ang isang bagay na paulit-ulit na nakakasakit.'

'Ang hirap magmahal ng taong akala mo tapos ng magmahal ng iba. It's hard to forgive someone who says sorry but keep on doing the same mistakes. Para kang nag-solve ng Math, kahit anong try mo, if you didn't get the right formula, you can never find the right answer.' she said, trying to avoid her tears from falling.

She doesn't want to cry in front of the crowd, pero pakiramdam niya saksi ang mga tao ngayong gabi sa sakit na nararamdaman niya.

'Or baka naman, alam ko yung formula, but I keep on using the wrong one to pretend that I get it right.' she continued.

She smiled sadly, 'Maybe in this space, I could find myself. Kasi nung minahal kita, nakalimutan ko ang sarili ko. I was busy competing with your first love that I almost forgot about my worth.'

'Mag-iingat ka palagi, Ben. I really hope the space between us will work.' tumayo na siya,

'Please don't run after me. I will not look back.'

At tumakbo na siya palabas ng restaurant at tumakbo palayo sa kanyang asawa.

Siguro nga. May mga taong umaalis at gustong lumaya.

Para malaman ang kanilang halaga.

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© APRIL 2020
| sincerely, k8