Into the Velvet

Fifty Days Until

DISCLAIMER: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DESCRIPTIONS OF SUICIDE

The first time Amos had tried to kill himself was in tenth grade.

Because of this, we came up with a rule. Something which we could both rely on to ensure that it never happened again.

So before the beginning of each school day, Amos had to text me whenever he wasn't coming to school. For the past few years, our rule had worked without a hitch. So when Amos had failed to show up to school the very next day, I was frantic. He hadn't warned me. That was an immediate cause for concern.

I arrived at the school grounds with an overwhelming feeling of unease, as if history were repeating itself over. Five minutes before the first bell, and still no sign of him. No crooked beanie amidst the crowd, hiding the hair he was growing out. Nothing of his green backpack and hesitant gait.

"Bianca!" I called out, rushing to where I'd spotted her. She was sitting on the bonnet of her car, arguing loudly over the phone. She turned and held a finger up while I waited. Out of her mouth came a furious onslaught of Spanish insults.

"—you don't have the balls to say that to my face, chico, and that's why you always wait until I'm on the phone to talk. I don't wanna talk! I have class! I'm not entertaining an insecure little boy who can't handle every time I leave the house—"

"Bianca. Please. Have you seen Amos?"

She cut me down with a powerful look. Marco was being taught his lesson, and there was no one in the world who could save him. Self-righteous fury rolled off of her like waves of heat. "If you think this is about control, you can find another girl to lie on top of. I'm done. Goodbye. But please, keep cussing me out. Real mature for a grown ass man — Oh, like you can talk! I wasn't the one who re-downloaded Tinder!"

We were wasting precious time. I had to find Amos with or without her.

Exiting this telenovela scene alone, I started sprinting in the opposite direction. Her voice cut off in surprise, calling after me. "Louise! Wait, where are you—?"

I had no chance to reply. My only way out of the school was through. Silently cursing my inability to drive, I scrambled over to the bicycle racks along the front entrance into the main hall, pushing my way through students who were milling in for their morning classes. I spotted a boy locking up his bike.

"Ethan! Ethan, wait!" I skidded in front of him and tried to regain my breath, my palms against my knees. He stopped. My breath was coming in harsh pants. I was far too unfit for such emergencies.

Ethan seemed astonished. "What's up, Louise?"

"I need a huge favour. I need your bike."

He turned suspicious. "Um. Okay? But class is about to start."

"I know, I know," I waved him off, taking the helmet from the basket and securing it onto my head with shaky fingers. "I'll explain later. I owe you."

His eyes lit up. "Owe me in what way—?"

He didn't get a response. I had already taken the bike out of his hands, clamouring awkwardly onto the seat and pedalling. Both Ethan and Bianca watched on in shared confusion.

It took twenty laborious minutes to arrive at Amos' apartment block. The streets were empty of cars, and from up above, all the lights were off. I braced the bike against the wall. It had crashed on the ground by the time I made it up upstairs.

"Amos!"

My fist made a furious sound against the door. "Amos, I know you're in there! I don't want you to hurt yourself. Please open the door—"