He said it wasn't his

Chapter 9 - Why Change

Jared POV

As I pull away from Camille house I couldn’t help the smile that was appearing on my face. My little girl called me daddy for the first time and accept me with open arms. I glance at my mom and she too was smiling with tears of joy. Marie was on the phone chatting away telling her boyfriend about the event with some much excitement. I always believe she and whoever the mystery boyfriend she has get married and have a lot of babies.my mind wonder back to Camille and I when she and I kissed. I could still feel her soft lips on mines and how much emotion her eyes had in them. She still loves me and I knew and she knew we both felt the love that grew between us in that one kiss. I touch my lips while driving towards the highway to take exit 59 to get back at our motel.

“Hey Jared… I wanted to look around a little since we be here for a while” Marie said getting off the phone “My boyfriend wants to meet Maple… he said already like her”

I looked in the review mirror at my sister and made a face “I don’t think so… if I didn’t know the guy, he not going anywhere near my little girl” I said going back to the road

“His right honey, Diamond is just nine and I feel the same I won’t want him anywhere near her until we meet this guy first” Mom said with concern

Marie nods with a chuckle “true… I agree with you both. We just finally met her and having a totally stranger around her can scare her or make her mother pull her way from us” Marie cringe “And I won’t do that to you Jared we all love them both… and hopefully we can win Camille trust back enough” Marie said with sadness

I tap the wheel and clear my throat “We already do… it’s me who have the fault for her to distrust me. If I had not been so stress that day maybe- maybe I still have her now” I said

My mom touch my shoulder and squeeze it “son, you are only human. Stop blaming yourself for something you had no control of. We all get stress once in a while and may have said something’s that it’s uncomfortable

I nod and continue to drive on around with them. We once in a while stop by a shop and look around thinking of Camille and how she felt so close to me. Camille hasn’t got a clue what she has coming for her for me to have her back. But one thing I know for sure that Douglas guy isn’t right for her at all. I hate how he almost kiss her lucky me stop her on time. She look so surprise seeing me and longing for me. It makes me smile knowing am not the only who has feeling still for the other. While mom and Marie are in the clothing area am in the lingerie department picking up something cute for Camille. Knowing damn well she would only wear them for me and no else. Um… think I might get her about three can now picture and this black lace one with sweet pump butt. Just think of it makes me excited to see it right now. Walking to the checkout I see this couple who looked to be in the early thirties and they was all lovey dovey and I wish me and Camille was like that to. Paying for my items and leaving out the store and wait on the bench and text my assistant for my work.

Camille POV

Walking in the house with Diamond and locking the door. I started to think about what happen with me and Jared. He looks so happy to see me and loving way and I knew my face was showing the same back at him with passion and hope. I shouldn’t be hoping be with him when I Have Douglas keep me warm at night taking way my lonely nights. But I can’t help but feel like I’m missing a whole big thing in my life. Diamond needs her dad and I know and Douglas does too, I told diamond to go in the kitchen and set up her homework for me so we can start with it. I watch her run to the kitchen and I sigh trying to clear my mind but was interrupted with a throat clearing. I turn around to see Douglas looking at me and frown walking over top me and wraps his arms around me and kiss my head.

“I saw what he did” Douglas said

I wanted to clear it up with him but think again what will I say to him “hey I still in love with this man and I thinking of moving back with him... Shit! Things got complicated for me” that would totally but a terrible answer to give him. I nod and look at him.

“What should I do, I don’t want to keep Diamond from her father and his not going stop trying to get to me and Diamond to be a family again. Like it was to supposed to be in the first place. I don’t want to lost you at all your my-my lover and I’m happy being with you. I said snuggling into him

“Yeah, but not as happy as he make you and Diamond though” he said sadly

I lean back just enough to see his face and shake my head. I tried denying it the fact that I’m still in love with Jared so many years that it pain me and cause my own child to lose connection to her father side of the family. I lift my hand to his face and nod not to agree with him but to make a final decision for myself and Diamond.

“I know what you are thinking that me and Jared are meant to be. But- (clearing my throat) Our flame is still there and I want to continue an us and forget about Jared and I situation” I said trying to sound convincing as possible but know damn well my heart cries out for Jared always and I will strive to love someone else other them him.

Douglas laughs and shakes his head leaning his head on mines “I know… but I feel-” I stop him from talking with my finger against his lips.

“No, I don’t want to talk about him or his family. Today just prove something to me that blow my breath away and I- I don’t care and I working on moving on with you and I will allow Diamond to see her father as much she wants without stopping her” I sigh with a small smile

Douglas smile and chuckles “your really fighting your true feelings huh?” he watch me with a smile

I laugh “You have no idea” and it was true, I was fighting my true feelings for nine years for a man I promise myself to stay away but no he had to come in ruin my hard earn work. If I can call it that after every second or minute of the day I had flashback of us kissing or having a romantic moment. Those things make me want to hate them but I couldn’t find it in my heart to hate it if I tried damn it. I just look up at Douglas trying to find somewhere in my heart I could fit him in without hurting him and myself in the process. But I find none of a bit of emptiness there only love and adoration there. Apart of me knows I have already welcome him in my heart as my friend but I couldn't make it go any farther then friendship. I hated myself at this moment of time where you strive to win but it’s like a lost cause. Why tried when you know it won’t change nothing but bring you pain and emptiness.