Guilt Trip {Noren}

Chapter 9

Jeno's knuckles nearly turned white from gripping his phone so hard, as he paced down the corridor.

"He means none of it," he convinced himself. "Nothing from him means anything." He caught his breath, opening the door to cool dusk air. Oh, how he needed this so badly.

"I'm the b-" and he stopped in his tracks. Had he really just told Renjun all that? So easily?

"I'm..." Jeno ignored the vibration from the new message. "I...like him." It was weird hearing himself admit it out loud, sending the words into faint spirals of vapour. He carefully repeated it, as if he hadn't heard himself say it the first time. And again, and again, until it no longer sounded real. But it was.

He woke up to at least a hundred messages from the group chat; a usual occurrence despite the fact that Jaemin, Chenle and Jisung all lived in the same building. The blaringly bright screen woke him up more so than his alarm, and he lazily scrolled through. He'd gotten around to replying to Renjun the previous evening, and it had started an hour long conversation fully consisting of debating the most stupid things and memes. You couldn't forget the memes.

But then something caught his eye, from the group chat.

I knew it Jeno!

Omg wait really

Damnnnnn

He checked up on instagram and there it was: the story in all its glory. Jeno lay face down on his pillow, groaning. It was times like this he was glad he didn't have a roommate. Although back in the day, Jaemin and Donghyuck were practically his roommates, to the teachers' annoyance.

He remembered the days they would explore the school, wide eyed and so much younger than they thought they looked. That time they snuck out of their dorms at midnight to meet in secret by the pool- Donghyuck ended up throwing Jaemin in the pool, the shouts awakening a teacher's building nearby and being caught, wet and smelling like chlorine. Jeno didn't remember exactly when he started to grow apart from Donghyuck; sometimes he thought it's because of Jaemin. But of course it wasn't- both him and Donghyuck knew that.

He remembered the day after comforting Jaemin alongside a defiant Donghyuck did some "motivational speech" (honestly the only part Jeno can quote now is "I will personally kick their kneecaps for you, don't you worry your pretty head"). The next day, Jaemin somehow was deliriously tired enough to confess to Donghyuck in the middle of the cafeteria, to which Jeno nearly dropped his plate of food. He'd known for ages now, but the second hand embarrassment resonated with him to this day. Come to think of it, from that day onwards, no one laid a finger on Jaemin any longer.

Jeno snapped out of it, re-opening whatsapp and replying his friends first in a flurry:

Uh

I woke up late

Oops

JENO

And then Renjun. Oh god, he regretted roping him into this. Just as he was about to send the message; incoming call: Renjunnie.

As soon as he picked up, he was met with a tired sigh.

"I'm not even safe in the library."

"Uh...sorry?" Jeno rolled out of bed, slipping on the school uniform shirt. The curtain was still closed- he didn't feel like opening it.

"You should be," came Renjun's grumpy voice on the other end. "I just go out to get breakfast and then-"

"Okay, okay. We'll be fine. I promise."

"You're a big fan of promises aren't you?" Jeno shoved the toothbrush in his mouth, holding his phone between his shoulder and neck. Somehow he was paranoid someone would listen in if he put it on speaker- the walls were thin at this school. That should explain how everything goes around so fast.

"Look," Jeno spit out the toothpaste in a hurry.

"More like listen, but go ahead."

"Listen, Renjun. Before I say my suggestion, do you have anything?"

"Does I seem like someone who's gone through this? No!" Renjun's voice grew slightly, and even Jeno could hear the background hushes from the librarians.

"And you think I have either?"

"Maybe? Probably?"
"So I do have this idea...and you won't like it," Jeno carefully said, eating a stale granola bar in about three bites.

"Shoot. It's not like I-"

"We fake date."

Silence. Jeno held his breath for what felt like at least a minute. He nearly put the phone down for a second to organise the folders needed that day, when Renjun finally said,

"You're right. I don't like that idea." Ouch.

"But sure," he heaved a sigh. "We can do that." Jeno nearly choked, before re-collecting himself to pick the fallen phone up from his bed.

"Jeno? You still there?"

"Uh-hem, yes. Really? You'd-"

"Jeno, do I look like I have another option? I'm in this with you." The bell struck then- first lessons. His phone continued to vibrate with messages, probably mostly from Jaemin. Perhaps another salty text from Donghyuck too, if he was lucky.

"Get to class now. We'll go through with this," Renjun said in a low voice, slipping through the library doors. Physics- West. It was easy to remember that now.

"You sure?"

"Just get to class already. You probably woke up late judging by my five calls before this."

"Fine. So if anyone asks..."

"Yeah, yeah okay. Anywhere you wanna meet?"

"My friends and I will be around the field area under a tree at lunch. You'll find us."

"See you then."

And Renjun ended the call. Just like that, it was done. They were unofficially, officially dating.