Lisa
I finally calmed down and stopped crying for a while. I have to be strong because I don't have a choice.
If Kai is really telling the truth, I have no choice but to accept that he's Nini's real lover. Who knows maybe he'll be the one who can bring Nini's memories back.
He might also know Nini's real family too.
I have to stop being selfish. I have to do everything for Nini's sake even though it hurts.
I just didn't saw this coming. Damn it!
Nini had been asking me what happened but I didn't tell her about Kai. I just told her that I missed my grandma. Fortunately, she believed it.
Tomorrow, I'm going to meet Kai in a cafe. I have to know whether he's telling the truth or not. I can't trust him easily.
My heart feels so heavy. At times like this, I should be flirting with her but I just couldn't do it knowing that there's someone who own her.
I just laid with my back facing her.
I couldn't sleep because I'm not used to being like this. I want to hug her. I want to kiss her, and I want to make love with her but I think I don't have the right to.
What if Kai is really her boyfriend?
Did they do what we did? Did he fell in love with Nini as hard as I did? Did they kiss as passionate as we do? Did they held each other's hand tightly like we always do? Did he took her to amusement park like I did? Did her hug her back every time she's cooking?
Did he care for her so much like I do? Did he told her how beautiful she is like I always do? And most importantly, Did he love her like I do?
All those thoughts are messing with my mind. I can't sleep and my eyes started to get dry. My heart is aching but my tears just stopped falling.
Suddenly I heard a sobbing.
Is she crying?
I faced her and she was hugging the pillow tightly while softly sobbing.
Did I make her cry? Fvck, it even hurts more to see her like this. I clenched my chest because of the pain.
I thought I couldn't cry anymore but I felt warm tears falling from my eyes again.
I took the pillow and throw it somewhere. I hugged her tightly. She hugged me back and burried her face on my chest.
"I'm sorry baby," I said in between sobs.
"Why did you suddenly acted like this," she was also sobbing.
And it's breaking my heart. This is the first time that I made her cry and this is the first time that I made her cry.
"Baby, what if you have a boyfriend before?"
I tried to ask her.
"But you are my girlfriend. I already have you. Why would I have a boyfriend."
I know this is also hard for her but if this is really the time, I have to make her understand
"No baby, what if someone had you before you became mine? I mean what if you already love someone and someone already love you," my own words are ripping me apart but I have to be strong.
She let go of me and held my face.
"Baby, I don't know what's running in your mind but I want you to know that I love you. If there's someone before you, I don't think I still love that person because you're all that my heart wants right now," she said that while looking intently at my eyes.
She wiped my tears and caressed my face with care. Her words soothed me. She's right, I'm the person she loves right now and I think it's just right to fight for her.
I kissed her forehead and hugged her tightly until we both fell asleep.
