The Girl Who Grew Up In The TARDIS (Wattys2014)

"The Doctor Will See You Now"

A/N This is the final chapter and it's something a bit different to all the ones that have gone before and who knows, there might be more to come from Emily Atwell... I didn't think I was going to get here but here we are finally on the last page. Thank you to everyone who has read, voted and commented, you have been amazing! And I hope you have enjoyed reading this tribute to Doctor Who as much as I have writing it.

Gemma x

 I'm outside. I'm out of the TARDIS for the first time since I was born. But it isn't how I thought it would be. The land is dark, a wasteland that is sterile. There is only death here. No one has seen me yet, it won't always be this easy but nevertheless I'm running for my life, the glowing furnace in the sky scorching the back of my neck while the acrid air filling up my lungs isn't meant for me and the longer I breathe it in the more dangerous it will become. I'm hardly dressed for the occasion, in a blue t-shirt and a short tartan grey skirt (thankfully I'm wearing black tights and my doc martins) but how was I to know that today is the day I would find myself running across the surface of another planet? But I have seen this planet before or one very much like it and it's not just any old planet but a new Skaro, homeland of the Daleks...The Doctor needs me. I run faster.

 The TARDIS has told me everything I need to know but it won't always be this easy. She almost lost her nerve and didn't let me go. The device from the TARDIS will only disable the Daleks and shut down the fortress defences for four minutes but I'm good with time as I clutch the TARDIS perception filter in the shape of a locket close to my chest, well how else was I going to walk into the heart of a Dalek army?! This is my first outing and the TARDIS is looking after me, it won't always be like this. The black metal fortress consumes the whole landscape, it's nightmarish with its pointy spikes and mysterious spheres as it towers over me and it just makes me feel all wrong looking at it but in their unbelievable arrogance, there are no Dalek sentries at the gate, after all, who would be mad enough to walk in through the front door... I take a deep breath and slip carefully inside, I remember my instructions and anywhere will do for my sabotage. There is no one around as I plunge the key-like Gallifreyan device into a random Dalek control panel and then I turn the corner and I'm straight into the prison chamber. Fear electrifies my whole body as I see a group of Dalek's but my heart starts again as I realise the monstrous shimmering pepperpots are frozen, their eye stalks pointing at the ground and the light gone from their eye... And that's when I see the Doctor. But I have the strangest feeling, I swear he saw me before I removed the perception filter from around my neck. The cell door suddenly flies open.

 It isn't how I thought it would be. The Doctor doesn't exactly look pleased to see me and stares at me with fierce disbelief, as though I were some kind of freakish abomination because no one should be able to walk into the middle of a Dalek army and shut them down (Well he does have a point....) The TARDIS has telepathically planted an escape route through the service tunnels into my head, at first the Doctor doesn't want to come with me, he doesn't trust me... He is older than I have recently been used to but it reminds me of his earlier selves and for a man of over two thousand years, I think it suits him just fine, along with him dressing head to foot in striking black (I'm secretly pleased we have the same taste in footwear.) His stern eyes are forbidding, warning of a dangerous and unpredictable man but he doesn't fool me, not for one moment. I know he is a good man and he will come with me because he has the war child with him and the Doctor has been sent on a mission to rescue him. I'm staring straight back at the Doctor hoping he'll trust and know me and maybe I look too defiant, I'm certainly not as scared as I should be. It's funny the things you notice when you really shouldn't but his eyes are actually a similar steely blue grey colour to mine as they blaze with dwindling patience at me but if I am not mistaken there is also wonder and maybe a bit of admiration in there, surely even the Doctor has to be impressed that I have walked right into the heart of a Dalek fortress? But my heart is in my mouth and I have never known fear until now, somehow I manage to stop myself shaking as the Doctor and the tiny boy with bright orange hair whose eyes glitter like stars suddenly begin to follow me. I must remember that I am a stranger to the Doctor but then the corners of his mouth suddenly rise but I can hardly call it a smile, perhaps it is a glimmer of recognition? Though more likely he is just pleased that there really is another way out. But I live in hope that there is a part of him that does know me, I just need to give him time... And I can see all the men he has been and all the lives he has lived, along with all the ones he might go on to live. I know him like no one else. This is my destiny. And maybe he wouldn't have been the Doctor I would have chosen and I know as he scowls at me now, his eyebrows knitting furiously than rising independently that I'm not someone he would have chosen either. But the two of us shall just have to get on with it won't we?

 Then suddenly we're out of the Dalek fortress and after scrambling through the darkness the unexpected bright red lining of the Doctor's jacket catches my eye. The Doctor and I, we are running for our lives, along with the boy he clasps tightly in his arms, this child carries the weight of so many future lives upon his frail bony shoulders and will go on to save hundreds of planets and unite so many star systems. In the distance I think I can hear Dalek fire but I tell myself it is only thunder as the Doctor practically flings the boy inside the TARDIS, (I never thought I would be so glad to see that little blue box) I go to follow but the Doctor places a restraining arm across the doorway. I laugh, it is more than a little hysterical and by now that sound is unmistakable as I hear shrill metallic cries in the skies above warning of fast approaching Daleks. This is hardly the time and place. I push past the Doctor, angry by his actions, almost outraged that he is stopping me from entering, it is just as much my home as his but my feet barely touch the threshold as I feel his slender but surprisingly strong hands upon my shoulders dragging me back and roughly turning me round to face him.

 "Who are you?!" The Doctor demands sharply, there is a slight tremor in his voice, almost as though he feels threatened by me. I am something different and the Doctor is annoyed that he does not know who I am but I think he is also intrigued.

There are so many things I want to say to him. "Hello Doctor. I'm Emily Atwell and I've known you all your lives but you didn't know I even existed." There are so many things that need to be said but firstly I'm distracted by the Doctor's voice, oh Scottish again... And I'm hurt that the Doctor won't let me in the TARDIS, a terrible thought enters my head...The Doctor might actually leave me out here with the Daleks and go without me. I can feel myself trembling, my eyes begin to burn as my bottom lip suddenly turns out, I mustn't let him see me cry. This isn't how I thought it would be... But then the Doctor suddenly releases his hold and his eyes soften to something close to compassion. And I know everything will be alright. This isn't how I thought it would be, no... It's so much darker and scarier. And so much better. I blurt out the first thing that comes to me and it's straight from my heart.

 "I'm the girl who grew up in the TARDIS."