In the Land of Gods and Monsters

Chapter Nineteen

We stayed another week in Montana, long enough to oversee the birth of a strong male pup, Luna's grandson. However, there was another midwife in the pack who could assist the woman in becoming acquainted with motherhood, and Lana was ready to travel on.

We packed up the old Jeep and ventured south toward Arizona. I was just over five months pregnant. I held my belly carefully in the car, loving the feeling of it in my hands.

Lana was not particularly fond of the pack in Arizona but had to heed the call. A number of women in the pack were experiencing miscarriages. The Luna had called upon Lana to come to their aid.

When we arrived, we were ushered into a building apart from the packhouse. It had a large space to be used as an office and a small living space upstairs for Lana and me to stay in. We joked and laughed while we unpacked, happy to be out of the car. But it soon became clear that the work here would not be as joyful as it had been before.

The first woman we saw was named Rose. She had suffered a miscarriage just days after her mate had died in battle. She was desperate for answers and any remedy which could bring her unborn child back to life.

I stood by as Lana gently explained that her baby was gone for good. She took out some brochures of support groups for women suffering similarly to her or retreats that she could take to begin the healing process. Rose cried the entire time Lana talked. When she was gone, I approached Lana quietly.

"Will she be okay?" I asked. Lana looked at me sadly.

"When a female's mate dies, it is as if half of her soul is ripped apart. There is little chance of finding love again. I have seen some women find happiness in other ways, training to be a doctor to help others, changing their vocation to a schoolteacher to help pups. But you have to be strong to survive the death of a mate. In her condition, with the loss of a pup as well, she may never be who she once was again," Lana explained.

I clutched my stomach.

"But that's just not fair," I said softly.

"Mates are a gift from the goddess of the werewolf world. They are a blessing unlike any found in the human one. But with great blessings also comes great demise. There must be balance in the universe," Lana explained. I nodded my head. I understood what she was saying, but I didn't agree with it. People should be allowed to be happy and sad in less extremes.

"Part of your job as Luna will be to care for those like Rose," she said. "To care for those who seemingly have no one anymore."

"Lana, how do you keep up with your Luna duties and your midwife ones?" I asked.

"As I've told you, Aries and I came to an agreement long ago about how I would divide my time. I typically travel about six months out of the year, and I am home the rest of the time. His sisters step up to fulfill my duties when I am gone," she explained.

I took this in.

"But what about when you have a pup?" I asked.

She smiled sadly.

"Part of the agreement is that when I have a pup, I must give up my midwife duties and remain in the pack," she said softly.

"But you don't want to give it up?" I asked, slowly beginning to understand.

She nodded her head.

"Most Lunas are like you. They find their mate and get pregnant almost instantly. It is very difficult to prolong the process of having a pup. But I have gone to great lengths to put it off as long as possible."

"How much longer do you have?" I asked.

"A year or two, maybe more. Aries is getting restless. I suspect he knows what I've been up to. But he is a good man. And he respects my choices for the most part."

"Do you miss him?" I asked, rubbing my stomach absentmindedly.

At this, she smiled.

"Of course, I do, more than anything. But I am a woman who is in love with her mate and her trade. When the time comes, it will be very difficult for me to give up my calling and my freedom," she said.

"Do you think Ezra will ever let me leave once I return?" I asked quietly.

"If he knows what's best for him, he will. I suspect that while you are growing and learning on the road with me, he is also growing and learning what it means to be in a mate partnership."

I smiled and looked down at my stomach, protruding out under my T-shirt.

"Do you think he'll be a good father?"

"Yes. Ezra is kind and has a big heart. He will be a wonderful father," she reassured me. I nodded and turned toward the door to welcome in the next patient. It would be a long day of woeful stories, but it was my job, as both a Luna and a midwife, to listen and care for these women.

******

Over the next three weeks, Lana and I spoke to countless women who suffered miscarriages. We listened to them, we offered shoulders to cry on, and Lana offered each woman a tea meant to clear their womb of evil spirits and usher in a new pup.

When Lana felt satisfied with our work, it was time to move on. Now six months pregnant, when we returned to the car for the days-long trek to Georgia, I was in more pain than I had ever been before.

"Lana, this hurts so bad. My butt is sore just from sitting in the seat!" I whined, shifting myself in my hundredth attempt to get more comfortable.

Lana laughed a little.

"I warned you that it would not be a cakewalk," she reminded me, giggling.

We had been on the road for just about three months at this point. It was early February. I had not seen my friends or family, or Ezra, in over four months. I wondered if they would recognize me when I returned. Gwen and Scarlett had tried to write sporadically, but I knew they did not want to compromise my location, and I appreciated this.

I had seen more in the past three months than in the first 21 years of my life combined. I loved New York and I loved the Northeast, but this trip was opening my eyes to so many new customs and cultures.

"This is technically the last stop on my trip," Lana said. Though slight, I knew her well enough by now to detect the sadness in her voice.

"How long will we stay?" I asked.

"About a month. It is another Luna who is giving birth. Luna Anna and Alpha Kaden. She and I were best friends when we were young. This is my birth pack," Lana explained further.

I grinned excitedly. I was excited for Lana to show me the customs of her pack.

"I cannot wait," I said.

"Me either, I have not seen many of my former pack mates in a long time. My parents visit me when I am home in the north, but it happens less often than I would like," she said.

I nodded, wondering if this was to be my fate as well.

The trip was cross-country and lasted three days. Lana and I, now accustomed to one another, and feeling relaxed as we traveled to a pack full of her family and friends, treated it has one giant slumber party. We ate our favorite fast food, made pillow forts, and gossiped all the way to Georgia. By the time we arrived, I was sad for the party to end.