A Love Like No Other

Chapter eleven

Natasha POV:

As soon as we got to the hospital, Steve was taken care of by the emergency department and was immediately sent in for an operation.

I asked a doctor to let me watch the course of the surgery but it seemed like it wasn't an option.

"Please, I just want to be there for him" I said, a few tears still running down my face.

"I understand and I'm sorry but I really can't let you do that. I wish I could but I have rules to follow and not following them could get us both is trouble"
After another ten minutes spent trying to get the doctor to change his mind, Clint came and convinced me to give up.

It had now been two hours since Steve was sent to the operating room but it honestly felt like two days.

We were all sitting in the waiting room.
You could see on everyone's face how worried they were. Even I couldn't find the strength to try and hide the emotions I was feeling.

However, we all had a different way to handle our stress and worry. Sam, for example, had been walking around the room in circle for the past hour. Bucky, on the other hand, had been vigorously taping his foot on the ground for as long as I could remember.

Wanda had been playing with her hair and biting her nails for so long that I was scared she was actually gonna end up with none.

As for me, I had spent the majority of the last two hours sitting and staring at my feet.

I was in a corner of the waiting room, a bit isolated from the rest of the group. I hadn't talked to any of them since we had gotten to the hospital and no one had tried to come and talk to me. They knew I needed some time by myself, alone with my thoughts.

After another thirty minutes spent waiting in that room, I felt someone sitting next to me. I didn't need to take my eyes off my feet and lift my head to know that it was Clint but I did it anyway.

"You know that he's going to be okay, right?"
"I can only hope so. That knife seemed so close to his heart. He lost so much blood Clint."

"Yes but don't forget that it's Steve we're talking about. Captain America! That man spent like 70 years stuck in ice, he's not going to let a knife keep him from living the life he deserves to live." he said, putting his hand on my shoulder for comfort.

I just nodded, looking at him with a small smile.

Soon enough, the smile disappeared and a new set of tears started falling on my face when suddenly an image of Steve, lying on the ground with the knife in his chest, made its way in my head.

"What's happening to me?" I whispered, covering my face with my hands.
"What do you mean?" I heard Clint answer.
"Why can't I stop crying? Why am I feeling all those emotions that I can't even seem to figure out? Why is it so hard to shut them all off?" I said, in a shaky voice.
"That's how people feel when they're scared to lose someone they love."

I took my hands off my face and turned my head to look at him.

"What did you just say?"
"I said that it's normal for you to feel that way because that's how-"
"I heard you the first time. What I'm trying to say is what do you mean 'someone they love'?" I told him, cutting him off.

"Oh Nat, don't tell me that you still haven't figured that out by yourself"

I just stared at him, a confused look on my face.

"Natasha, I think you've spent so much time hiding your feelings and emotions from others that now, you're starting to hide them from yourself"
"Are you telling me that you think that I love Steve?"
"I know you Natasha and I don't 'think' that you're in love with Steve. I know you are and I'm pretty sure that deep down, you know that too."

I turned my head and started looking back at my feet, a million thoughts making their way to my mind.

Eventually, I sighed and shook my head slowly. Clint was right. I had known about my feelings for Steve for a while.
I didn't know how to deal with them so I just pushed them back and tried my best to ignore them.

I realized that the thought of losing him just made those feelings emerge again and made them even stronger.
I couldn't escape my love for Steve anymore and honestly I didn't want to.

"You should tell him" said Clint, who judging by my silence, understood that he indeed was right.
"I know but I don't think I'll be able to."

Clint opened his mouth, about to talk, when we heard footsteps coming towards us.

We turned both our heads simultaneously and saw a doctor approaching.
I immediately stood up and got closer to the rest of our teammates, Clint doing the same.

The physician's face showed no emotion. There was no way you could tell if he was about to give us good news or bad news, which didn't help with my anxiousness at all.

———

Hey!
Don't hesitate to give me your opinions on the chapter in the comments :)

Also, I wanted to let you know that I'll try and finish the story before the end of this month because I have exams coming up next month so I'm gonna have to put my entire focus on my school work.
Update : I won't be able to finish the story before the end of April as I planned, which means that I'll continue uploading new chapters but due to a lack of time, it won't be frequently.

Byeeee
🖖