Lust For Life (Angela Weber & Embry Call)

Chapter 2.

Embry

Right sleeve to left sleeve, fold back, fold twice, repeat. I looked at my clothes diminishing in the wooden laundry basket. The least I could do was help my Mother with the laundry, after putting up with me all these years. It's not that I was a bad teenager or unruly for that matter. But, me coming home at 4 am certainly wasn't normal. She thought I was partying, sneaking to my "girlfriend's" house, smoking weed, popping pills but not in a million years did she think that I had the ability to turn into a giant hairy beast. Even when I told her that I was a shapeshifter, she didn't worry any less. It made it even worse to be honest. I wasn't in danger of coming home drunk, my life was in danger now. Every time I stepped out of my house for patrol, I wasn't sure if I was coming back. I was confident in my abilities, but I knew that being a wolf came with unpredictable circumstances. Experience came with age. 

I was all that my Mother had, and she was all that I had. Just the two of us had been surviving together so long. So the least I could do was fold some damn laundry and help her around the house. Even so, she deserved so much more than that. Raising me on her own, wearing a scarlet letter in the Quileute and Makah tribes because of my birth and putting up with my phasing process was not easy for her. She deserved more, but I couldn't give it to her yet.

I didn't know quite how I felt about being the way that I was or rather, what I was. I was over the "this is so cool I'm a werewolf" phase, ages ago. I wasn't a teenager anymore. I was stuck to this land, it had become a part of me, I was it's protector. I was bound to it. I didn't have a choice. I couldn't finish school, much less go to college. I couldn't even go to trade school or find a stable job. I wanted so much more, but I had obligations and no one cared. Sam certainly didn't he expected us to stop and risk our lives with the purpose of protecting the tribe. I didn't love being what I was, and I didn't hate it either. I had no say in it, being what I was, being who I was, was a part of me. And the worst part was, the one thing that was supposed to make me happy, the one thing that was supposed to be the center of my universe, was the one thing that I didn't have. Figures.

She was always missing, whoever SHE was. The girl who was supposed to be my soulmate, was yet to present herself. I was beginning to think I would be alone forever. My heart always had a dull ache as if something was missing. I knew what was missing, I knew she was missing, but there was nothing I could do. It was useless to even consider dating because I wasn't willing to "pull a Sam" and hurt an innocent girl's feelings. It wasn't worth it to me, call me soft but nothing was worth that pain. I watched Leah live it everyday, and it wasn't pretty. No one should have to go through what she did.

The pack was happy though. They weren't worried about anything, the lucky ones certainly weren't. Sam had Emily and he always would, even though he mauled her back in the day like she was a piece of raw meat. But, they loved to play happy family with a white picket fence. It was the life style that the both of them had always pined for. Jared had Kim, high school sweethearts who were always calling each other the most ridiculous names. And that's all I have to say about those two. Paul and Rachel were both crazy, angry messes but they seemed to fit together just fine. With the temper that Paul had, I was surprised that he had found anyone, but Rachel seemed to scare him more than anything else in this world so I guess it worked out for them. Quil, well Quil was just a different story all together. He spent his days playing with Barbies and attending tea parties, but he would kill himself for Claire. She was getting older, but it wasn't quite old enough for Quil to go from brother to boyfriend. And that was good enough for Quil, and for Claire, not like she knew any better anyways. Jacob Black. Well he was confused, just a tad bit. This guy was obsessed with Bella Swan, for what reason I don't know. It's not like she was showing any love to him or cared for his well being. She played Jacob like a broken record. She even sent him her and that bloodsucker's wedding invitation, that bare-faced bitch. I wasn't her biggest fan but I was cordial. Jacob was pining for someone that would never be his, what could be worse than that. Seth, Collin and Brady were just milking their new experiences, charming girls left and right, hooking up and taking advantage of their new looks which could be compared to daggers piercing girls ' hearts. Being a young wolf was exciting, they weren't concerned with settling down or finding their imprint. This was all fun for them now, but when age starts to wear on you, and you see everyone enjoying "imprint bliss", you desire more for your life. A partner, a lover, a caretaker. Someone to come home to, someone to tend to your wounds.