Forgetting Present Tense

Bitterness

HOME SCHOOL: DAY 37

I was coming back from another session of voice therapy. I felt a lot more calmer than usual and was relieved that the therapy was working. Though I was still not able to sing, I could use my voice without breaking into a fit of coughs. I was sitting on the front seat, my head was resting on the window as I silently looked at the cars outside.

I had just eaten lunch and was sitting on the living room couch with my phone in hand. 

Kyle- Hey.

Me- Hiiiiii. Sorry I haven't been able to talk properly.

Kyle-  Don't forget about me. 😔

Me- I could neverrrrr, I'm sorry.😢😢

Kyle- Okaayyy, you are forgiven. 

            Wanna come over today?

Me- I would love too! ( ' ▽ ' ) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Kyle- You can stop being adorable now. You are already forgiven. 😂

Me- It's hard to stop.

Kyle- I figured. 😂 See you soon then?

Shivi- Yes!!

I was about to head upstairs to change when I got another text. But this time it was from Jeff. 

Jeff- Heyy girlfriend. 

Shivi- Heyyyy boyfriend. 😂😂

Jeff- I was wondering if you were free to go out on a walk with me?

Shivi- I'm sorry Jeff but I already promised Kyle I'll come over. :(

Jeff- Dammit. I should've texted you sooner.

           Can I at least walk you till there?

Shivi- Aww, you wanna see me that bad?

Jeff- Come on, I didn't get to see you the whole day.

Shivi- Okayyy, you can walk me till there.

Jeff- Nice! I'll be there in a minute.

I looked at his texts and smiled. I never thought that a guy like Jeff could be so cute sometimes. Jeff and I had been going out for 3 weeks now and it was going really good.

We were walking hand in hand. We were just about to reach Kyle's house when Jefferson said, "What are you guys planning to do?" I replied," Nothing specific. Probably just going sit and talk and maybe sing a little." Jefferson nodded and said," Don't do anything that would make me jealous." I laughed and said," It's only Kyle, Jeff.  "My point exactly.", said Jefferson. I shaked my head in puzzlement. We were now in front of Kyle's house. "I'll go now. Don't worry.", I said as I let go of his hand. He gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and waved goodbye. A blush spread across my cheeks as I walked towards the door. I rang the doorbell and after a moment Kyle opened the door. I smiled and made my way inside. "Jeff walked you here?", asked Kyle. "Yeah. How'd you know?", I said. "The guy texted me.", said Kyle as he sat himself on a couch in the living room. "He texted to tell you that?", I said while laughing. I sat on the couch across Kyle so that we were now sitting face to face. "You two are really going out, huh?", said Kyle with a little bit of bitterness in his tone. "Yeah, Kyle. I told you that a while ago.", I said. "Yeah, I know. I just can't believe it yet.", shruged Kyle. "Why not?", I asked him, confused. "Well, not too long ago you always said that Jeff annoys you and you always said no when he asked you out. But then suddenly after one date with him, your thoughts about him have changed completely.", said Kyle, the bitterness more visible now. "Isn't that a good thing? You yourself  used to say that he's actually nice once you get to know him.", I said, clearly stupefied by Kyle's behavior. "Right, I did say that. But I didn't say you have to date him to know that he's nice.", said Kyle exasperated.  My eyes go wide in shock. "Are you really jealous, Kyle?", I asked, recalling the conversation I had with the girls. "What?", said Kyle who looked equally shocked by what he said. "No, no. I'm not. That's not it.", said Kyle quickly. "One no would have been enough to send the message through.", I said quietly, feeling unexpectedly sad at his denial. He looked at me trying to figure out what I meant by that. He said,' I just feel like he's taking my best friend away." But even he didn't look like he was convinced by what he said. "Kyle, no. He's not taking me away. That could never happen. I know we haven't been able to talk properly and it's entirely my fault. I promise it won't happen again and I'm sorry that you had to feel that way.", I said. "I'm sorry too. I know I'm overreacting a bit. I shouldn't doubt you.", said Kyle while letting out a sigh. "Let's stop with the apologies. It's killing me.", I said smiling. "You're right. We are being too sappy.", said Kyle, grinning. "Get your guitar.", I said. "You took those words right out of my mouth.", said Kyle. 

When I went back home, I still couldn't stop thinking about how quickly he said no when I asked him if he was jealous. Thinking about that day now makes it clear. A part of me did want him to be jealous. But why? Do I like Kyle? Is that what it is?