We're Only Animals: Book 2 - Part 1: Building the Tower

Chapter 15 - You Can Never Be Forgiven

Later that same day, in the afternoon, Louis was lying on his bed in his room, staring at nothing in particular. His mind was in a complete war with itself. Push this away and be with Legosi again. Hide from Legosi due to shame and horror. He wished he had his phone so he could text Pina. But it was only a few days. He could handle it. Even if he did think he belonged here, Pina did give him a lot to think about.

Suddenly, his nurse came in. "You have another visitor. Aren't you the popular one?"

The deer made a face. "..."

She waved him on and he got up and she escorted him down the hall for the third time. He really hoped it wasn't Legosi again, even though the hospital probably wouldn't let him back in due to his actions.

They reached the door and he was cuffed by another nurse, always hating how the handcuffs were just a little too small around his wrists. The door opened and he walked inside and sat in the chair. His mind continued to race as he played the kiss with Pina back in his head. Part of him wished he and Legosi had done that. Would everything be alright, then? No. He needed time. And help.

A few minutes passed and he stared at the floor, tracing shapes on it with his eye as he awaited nervously. The door finally swung open and in lumbered the large male deer whom Louis despised.

Oguma. His father.

The older animal grunted, crossing his arms. "So, what have you gotten yourself into this time?"

Louis blinked. "I have nothing to say to you or to apologize for."

"I didn't come here looking for an apology. How do you think I felt when I was in the middle of a very important meeting and my secretary told me there's a hospital on the line? I pick up, only to find out my idiot son has been locked up and that I'm required to see him."

The other deer blinked. "Did you know?"

Oguma raised a brow.

"Did you know about Shogi's brother?"

"We've discussed this, L—"

"Did you know he died? Because I wanted to escape so badly that I used Shogi?"

Oguma blinked, taking in the information.

"I was so miserable in that place. I bet you didn't even know I almost killed myself by jumping out of the window."

The stag opened his mouth to speak, but Louis continued.

"Or how about any of the other times I hated my life so much, I tried to take it? You didn't know about that. No one knew about that, because I'm so ashamed to let anyone find out." He took a shaky breath. "Of course, you don't care about that, do you? You don't care about me. This is just another mistake on your list of my mistakes, isn't it?"

Oguma spoke up now. "Louis."

The deer looked at him with pain in his eyes. "Why? Why don't you love me? I don't understand! I know you have high expectations and all, but you were my own family member. You were all I had. I suffered in silence for so long and you never even knew, because you don't love me."

Oguma swallowed. "Louis. Please, let me talk."

"Does it please you to see me here? Locked up, because my brain tells me to hurt myself? Because I can't seem to be happy? Maybe if you had shown me some fucking love in my life time and have me an actual fucking childhood I wouldn't feel this way! This is your fault!!!"

The older deer exhaled deeply. "You're right. About all of it. I never knew. But...it's not because I don't care about you, Louis."

Louis blinked tears out of his eyes, listening.