𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗲, spencer reid.

xxxi. i miss you but in russian

｡･:*:･★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆     SPENCER REID

      I HAD NO CLUE WHY I
was back here again.

It was around 9pm at night when I left my apartment and headed straight to Ace of Clubs, the bar that Lilac worked at. Why? I really didn't know. It started out as a small "oh, what if I visited her?" which I quickly brushed off, to, "LILAC. MUST SEE LILAC."

That was the thing about once sharing such a intimate connection with someone. It never truly goes away—and once that small thought of them enters your mind, you just become obsessed. Especially for me, who's kind works annoyingly fast. I thought and thought and thought until my body finally gave in.

And so here I was, back at this bar, sipping on a beer as I looked around for the woman. Her friend was here working at the cashier, and kept winking at me when he caught me looking over there. I wasn't checking him out, I was checking to see if my ex-lover had arrived yet.

I came here with (sadly enough) I few expectations. I was hoping to dear god that she wouldn't run off at least. One conversation. One conversation would be enough for me—I just wanted to know how she was and what she was doing nowadays. Ever since I saw her again the curiosity had been eating up at my brain.

But there was also the possibility that she'd just run off hiding and ignore me again. But I doubt she could, considering I tactically sat at the bar where there wasn't a bartender present. She'd have to be working this one no matter what.

And after a while, I saw a flash of blonde walk to the cashier, and I immediately straightened up and attached my gaze to hers. She looked a bit exhausted today, and I noticed she kept grimacing and rubbing her neck.

My heart was beating so fast, and I cursed at myself for this reaction. I shouldn't be feeling so giddy seeing her, especially because I knew she couldn't possibly feel the same for me anymore. She's changed, like I have.

Finally, she noticed me. Immediately, her eyes narrowed, holding my gaze for a little longer. I noticed her cheeks go slightly red, so I forced a small smile on my face to appear friendly.

Lilac diverted her gaze, talking to her buddy for a while. I knew she was stalling, which felt unfair to me because I was practically on the edge of my seat waiting to talk to her.

At last, she walked to the bar, not meeting my gaze as she settled a few feet away from me, organizing some bottles.

I waited, and waited, but she was stalling so much. I was getting impatient.

I suddenly cleared my throat. "You've cleaned that same glass five times, Lilac." I told her, trying to keep my voice even.

Her cheeks flushed, and she sighed heavily, setting it on the counter and looking back up at me. Those eyes. They made me feel so warm and giddy inside.

"Spencer, you don't even drink." Lilac said softly, finally walking towards me. I shrugged, sipping my bottle slowly. "Why are you here?" She asked me blankly. I frowned at her, nodding to my drink.

"For a drink." I told her.

"You don't drink." She said again.

"I'm drinking right now." I said, keeping my voice light with a small smirk on my face.

Lilac sighed again, and I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering if she could act any less interested in having this conversation with me.

"Do you want me to leave?" I asked her, pursing my lips together. "If you're seriously uncomfortable."