My Notes (Sequel to My Solo)

Alex

Dear Alex,

I know you're probably upset with me. I'm not sorry for what I did. I was hurting. Bad. I am sorry about putting everything into past tense but I'm going to be gone by the time you read this.

After my dad died and my mom abandoned me I turned to drugs to cope. Yes, I became a drug addict. It got really bad and after I found out Mal had been cheating on me I started to plan on how to stop the pain.

The drug weren't helping anymore so I did the thing that would end my pain forever. Now I'm getting so spend eternity with my dad. I'll see you in the afterlife I love you, mom.

-Lucia

***

I clutch the note and I finish reading it. Lucia won't be at my retirement game anymore. She won't play her music insanely loud in the shower. She will never jump on my bed and wake me and Tobin up for Christmas at almost 30.

I cry harder into my pillow and think about how I am so hungry but if I walk downstairs I'm going to think about all the nights me and her watched movies and passed out cuddling. All the times she would try one of my vegan foods and spit it out being all dramatic. I just can't bare to go anywhere in the house anymore.

I pushed Tobin away and threw a lamp at her once but she's still here. I need to apologize but I can't even speak currently from all the constant crying. My once tan skin is now pale. My body was once healthy and muscular now I'm slim and dangerously skinny.

I just miss her.