"We'll be alright."
As the last note ended I closed my eyes, tears streaming down my face as I breathed heavily.
Wow. Was all I could think. I had been told by the people around me that the album was emotion filled and could make me cry, but I definitely didn't think that this would be the extent of it. I was a complete emotional wreck after spending the last house listening to Fine Line in its entirety, a task I'd been putting off since it was released.
I closed my laptop and set it aside, taking deep breaths.
Surely there was meaning in the words he sang, but he had to have some sort of facade while writing. He couldn't really be as sorry as he sounded, right?
Everything that happened all those months ago, what were the chances that he was actually sorry? Did he deserve me allowing him to talk and explain his reasons behind hurting me?
I questioned everything, every decision I made surrounding Harry in the past year suddenly feeling wrong. I tried constantly to drain him out of my head, feeling like it was easier to block the thought of him out with drugs and alcohol. I was beginning to question this, though. Maybe Gemma was right, hearing this album might be the first step to getting over him. What did I need to do next, though?
I wiped the tears from my eyes, letting out a sigh I picked up my phone, dialling the number that I knew by heart.
"Hey, are you busy right now?"
"It's really late, I had some work to do but if you need anything then no, I'm free. What do you want?"
"Just uh, to talk. I need to talk to you."
"Want me to come pick you up?"
"No... Meet me at the cafe on seventy-third. I'll be there in twenty minutes."
I hung up after that, getting up quickly to change. I grabbed my car keys and headed out the door.
During the drive I felt the nerves finally settling in, and the all too familiar ache of anxiety deep in my chest. As much as I hated to admit it, this was something I needed to do for myself. If I wanted to get better and not fall deeper down the rabbit hole, I needed to get rid of every negative aspect of my life, him being the first.
As I walked into the cafe I spotted him sitting in the corner, eyes fixated on his phone until the door rang, signalling somebody had entered the building.
His eyes shot up, lighting up when he saw me. I walked to the table, sitting down and thinking about exactly what I wanted to say.
"I was surprised when you said that all you wanted was to talk. I have some stuff in my care if you want it though, I always come prepared. " He smirked, eyes raking up and down my body.
I rolled my eyes. "I want to talk. That's it, after tonight I'm done. This," I motioned between the two of us, "Is done. I never want to have contact with you again."
He stared at me quizzically. "What? What's gotten into you Bella?"
"The fact that I'm fucking up my life again Michael. I've noticed that bad things happen to me when you're around, I'm done. You fucked me up, I was stupid enough to come back to you for some sort of release. If I could take it back I would, but I can't."
"Bella, you're being irrational. You know that I can make you feel better than he can, that's why you came back to me in the first place."
"No. I came to you because you had something that could make me feel better for a temporary period of time, but it's only temporary. I need something permanent. Drugs, you, booze... it's all temporary solutions to temporary problems, and I want no part of it anymore. I mean really, you can't think I wanted you. How the hell could I find comfort in the man that abused me?" My voice stayed at a low tone as I spoke, not wanting the employees to hear.
His face immediately grew red with anger as he opened his mouth to speak, but I knew the look on his face too well.
"Goodbye Michael." I said, standing up quickly and running out of the building.
He was hot on my steps as I walked to my car, hands shaky as I reached for my keys.
As I began unlocking the door I looked up, seeing him standing with a smug look on his face about ten feet away from my car.
"You came back to me after him because you know that nobody except me will ever like you, you can't do better than me Bella! It's only a matter of time until you come crawling back again." He sing-songed.
My face twisted in disgust as I got into my car, quickly driving away.
As soon as I was speeding down the highway, I knew exactly where I was headed.
I drove for two, almost three entire days including two breaks to stop at sketchy road-side motels to sleep. The drive to New York was always a pleasant one, just way too long and boring when by yourself or didn't have much to think about.
Luckily in my case, I had a plethora of things to think about. Between Harry and what my parents were going to say when I showed up at my childhood home unannounced, my head was spinning thinking about everything that could go wrong, and every situation that could occur.
Finally, I arrived in Manhattan, standing at my parents doorstep. I knocked on the door twice, hopeful that somebody would answer.
"Bella?"
next chapter will be longer my apologies
thanks for reading ily
