rising from the ashes || a hunger games story

chapter eleven

willow's pov

as soon as we're inside of the cave, i start bawling. finn wraps his arms around me. "it's all my fault. all their deaths. ivy's, will's and now june's. it's all my fault," i say as i cry into his chest.

"no it's not, willow," he says. "yes it is. i couldn't warn ivy in time, if i had only allied with will too, he'd still be alive and if i hadn't let june go off on her own, she wouldn't be dead."

"willow, stop it," he says as he removes me from his embrace and places his hand on my arms. "you had only noticed the force field last minute, the timing was just off. that wasn't your fault. will never asked to ally with you and you barely knew him so you had no reason to want to ally with him. june wanted to go off on her own and the careers found her. the careers killing her is not your fault."

i hug him again without saying a word. he leads me to the back of the cave. he takes out a sleeping bag and places it on the floor. "lay down. eat some berries. i'll go find us some food." i shake my head. he's about to walk away when i grab his hand. "no. i can't lose you too."

"okay, okay," he says as he walks back towards me. "just lay down." i sit down on top of the sleeping bag. i pull my knees up to my chest and hug them. i'm not cold. this is just a form of comfort. finn sits down next to me. he's sitting properly with his legs layed out in front of him and his feet crossed.

i lay my head on his shoulder and wrap my arms around his torso. my legs stay together but they lay on the floor instead of up to my chest. i feel his arms wrap around me. i feel a sudden comfort when he does.

his right hand lays on my right shoulder and it goes up and down my arm smoothly. "did you mean everything you said in the interviews?" i say, sitting up to look at him. "you watched them?" i nod. "answer the question." he sighs. "every single bit."

i smile at him and go back to the position i was in earlier. "did you mean everything you said to june?" i hear him say. i quickly sit up. "you heard that?" he nods. "so did you?" i nod. "yea, yea i did."

i lay back and we sit in a comfortable silence. i grab my backpack and take out my canteen. i drink some water and that's when i realize there's no water left. i look at finn, "do you have any water left?" he grabs his backpack and takes out the canteen.

he looks inside of the canteen and looks back at me. he shakes his head, "no." he closes the canteen and puts it back. i sigh, "do you remember where the lake is?" he nods. "we can go now before the sun goes down or we can go tomorrow."

"let's go tomorrow. we don't want to risk being in the middle of the woods at night. it's safer in the cave." i nod at him. i put the canteen back into my backpack and i take out some berries i picked from earlier.

i recognize the berries as highbush cranberries. they grow when leaves start emerging but they can last through the winter. i pass some berries over to finn and we start eating. "i don't know what i would do without you," he says looking over at me.

i look at him confused. "you know how to survive out here. i don't. i thought i would be fine in the games but as soon as i saw we were surrounded by mountains, i knew i would be screwed without you."

i shake my head. "no you wouldn't. you're smart, you'd be able to figure it out." the sun is going down sooner than i thought. i thought it had been earlier in the day.

i look out of the opening of the cave and i can see the moon through the small circle. the moonlight is shining straight through the opening. i look over to finn who's also looking through the opening. the moonlight is hitting his face and i find myself getting lost in his sea-green eyes.

he looks over at me. "what?" he says, laughing slightly. i get myself out of the trance. "nothing. your eyes are just so beautiful." he smiles at me. before things can get awkward he says, "i'm going to go to sleep."

he grabs his backpack and takes out his sleeping bag and lays it out next to the wall that's to my left. i put my body into the sleeping bag and lay down. i lay there, staring at the same opening.

i turn to look at the cave wall. i keep tossing and turning when i hear finn's voice. "are you okay?" i let out a sigh, "can you come lay with me?" i hear shuffling behind me and soon feel his body next to mine. i rearrange myself so i'm laying on my side.

i lay my head on his chest and wrap my arms around his torso. "i love you," i whisper so he doesn't hear. it's silent for a moment when i hear words that make my heart skip a beat.

"i love you too."