The Search (Anakin Skywalker x Reader)

Chapter 11: A New Home

Hahahahah... get it? Instead of "A New Hope". I'm so damn funny, it's crazy...
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We spent the rest of that day without saying a word to each other. He only spent his free time thinking or trying not to think by keeping himself in shape. I'd left the bedroom a few times, finding him quietly sitting on the floor or exercising while I'd walk past him in silence, heading to the fridge or to take a quick shower. In my free time I'd practiced with my abilities as best as I could in the room. I hated that I'd let him claim my living room, but I'm not sure it would have been any better if he held himself in our bedroom either.

There was certainly a tension, but at least he hadn't left.

When night came, for a while I thought he was going to stay the night in the living area, but I'd been trying to fall asleep when I heard the door slowly open and close. I'd heard the covers move on the other side of the room and knew he'd made a decision to sleep where it was more comfortable.

I wasn't sure what any of this meant for the future. I said I had made that decision for him, but it wasn't really my place to do so. Even if it wasn't, he still hadn't left yet. Maybe he'd made up his mind and chose to stay like I'd told him to, but I could never know with him. He was too confusing for me to handle, but that didn't stop the fact that I could potentially be staying here for five years with him and learning how to handle him was all I could do in the meantime.

I couldn't tell what kind of person he was anymore, not that I really could in the first place, but I did have some sort of outline of the person he could be. The outline is gone now. I hadn't known what to expect and assuming anything is out of the question.

Later on in the night I'd been woken up by Anakin's voice. I sat up, seeing another nightmare had been occurring. Another? Two nights in a row. Was this going to be a constant? Because, if it was, I would have to kick him out myself. Not because he was simply having nightmares, but because of the effect it had on me when he had them. It was like I was feeling everything he was feeling in the dream, but had no clue why.

I observed him mumbling words, shuffling around under the thin blanket laying over him, a sweat beginning to break. I wish I knew what he dreamt about. Maybe I could finally reach him personally... emotionally, but I knew I couldn't expect that to turn into sunshine and rainbows. I wiped away a tear from him earlier and he shut me out within seconds.

His mumbling and disturbed words got louder until it had stayed at a certain volume. I might have tried to ignore it and go to sleep, but the fear of feeling his emotions with that terrible headache again had been too consistent.

Speaking of, suddenly sadness kicked in with many other things not far behind. I felt myself struggling to hold back screams and tears within minutes. The headache arrived all too fast. My brain was pounding against my skull. Perhaps it it was trying to knock me out to keep me from what I was suffering at that moment. Physical and emotional pain was delivered to me, messily wrapped in a bow and I unwillingly excepted it without hesitation.

It was too hard to control. The whole of me reacted. I stood out of bed, my hands on my head, my fingers trying to squeeze away the pain. I hadn't thought about the decision I was making. I felt like I hadn't been thinking at all, my mind being too focused on the agony derived from Anakin. My mind wasn't in power anymore. My body was taking over, running on pure instinct as I began to stumble towards Anakin. I had to wake him. I had to stop this.

But I could only take two steps forward before my body collapsed, landing against the hard, wooden floor. Right when I thought the pain couldn't have been worse, it had suddenly stopped. The comforting absence of feeling was a wonderful thing now.