Get It Through Your Head

And That Kids, Is Why You Never Do That

*Mabels Point of View

"Grenada! Stop! This is stupid!" I beg. She continued throwing stuff at innocent pedestrians in any Christmasy colors. Or Hanukkah. Or any holiday.

"What team are you on?" I ask her pulling on her muscly arms. This stops her.

"I'm on Seasons Greetings! The Atheists! The only thing we should celebrate is that winter is here! It should be fun! Not rules and regulations!" She yells. I make a mental note.

"Stop hurting people!" I beg. She doesn't. I have only one choice. Change her target.

"I CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS! I STILL BELIEVE IN SANTA! AND I LISTEN TO CHRISTMAS MUSIC ALL YEAR LONG BECAUSE ITS THE GREATEST MUSIC EVER!" I scream in her face. Everything freezes. Her eyes grown narrow. I'm going to die. Aren't I?

"I thought you were my friend. You are dead to me! DEAD TO ME!" She screams and tries to tackle me. I scream and run. Good thing I have experience in running from terrifying monsters I once called friends.

Eventually I loose her. Or she gave up. Man, snow is cold. I'm panting from exertion but snow keeps falling. Cold. I lay down in the little field I'm in. I make a snow angle while catching snowflakes with my tongue.

"Hi, Mabel." Says a familiar voice.

"CANDY!" I exclaim. I look around and it takes a second to find her. She is hiding in a cleverly disguised fort that looks like a snow drift if you don't look hard enough.

"What is your side?" She asks me.

"I don't like to choose like this, but I guess I mostly celebrate Christmas." I tell her.

"Good. You may enter." She tells me

A hatch pops up and I can enter her fort. It leads underground, down a ladder. I marvel at the complexity of it. Dipper and Grunkle Ford would love it here! How did she have the time to build this?

Then we reach the bottom. We open a door and then I see the greatest thing ever. A room with shining gold, red, white and green lights. Christmas trees decorated every corner and its still not even December! Sparkly things are all over the place! I don't even know where to look!

"This is our base. In summer this looks like little hill. When snow comes, it looks like snow pile. We stay here. Hidden. Safe." She says. I can't stop the woooaaahhh from escaping my lips. Tad Strange is down here to. Its a tad strange to see him doing something abnormal. OH! TAD STRANGE! I GET IT NOW! I can't believe I never caught on to why everyone thinks that's funny. Huh. Took a few years. Tad gives me the tour.

"Over here are the story's. Over there are our backup trees and family traditional ornaments we don't want broken. This way we have all the Christmas songs ever recorded. We play them on loop until everyone has every verse memorized. Then we play them all over again! But, on shuffle!

Through there is where we make our weapons of mass destruction to use against the others. That's fun Oh! And here is were we bake things. I love this spot because I love bread." He smiles.

"Wait. What? Mass destruction! Guys! This is wrong! Why can't everyone celebrate their own holidays? Then we could actually enjoy them!" I cry. Literally everything stops.

I know its no fun to read but this is what happened. Basically, I was attacked from all angles. I don't even know what happened, but one second we're all fine, I say that and the next thing I know I'm back home with Grunkle Stan freaking out. And everything hurts...

"Never do that again Mabel! You're lucky that kid told me were to find you! Sweetie, you can't stop these crazy people! Just stay out of their way." He says, dabbing at my cheek with a wet cloth. My new sweater is in tatters and one of my shoes are gone. My arms look like I tried to hug too many cats at once again and my legs aren't much better. I have a SPLITTING headache to.