Get It Through Your Head

I leave for ONE minute

*Stans Point Of View then Bills

I swear, my family is the best at getting themselves into tough situations. Murder? Yep. Demons? Yes. Possession? Multiple times. Betrayal? We practically live in 'The Duchess Approves'! Kidnapping? On a daily basis. Cults? Occasionally. Stupidity? We buy it bulk.

I leave for one day, and everything goes to heck. Dippers loosing his mind over panic attacks. Ford ain't much better. Mabels tough like me, but this is clearly is starting to wear down on her. And Mini Sixer goes and gets herself kidnapped! I mean, if there was any doubt that she was Poindexters kid, now theres none.

They burst into my hospital room and bombarded me we information. Victoria is gone. Bill made (more) threats. The Society of the Blind eye kidnapped (see what I mean?) them again. They redrew the cipher wheel. Theres a curse on the town- nothing new here. Honestly, what does it take for some peace and quite in this town?

The nurse kicked them out for a few days just because how loud they were. Plus they had snuck in after hours. I don't see the big deal here.

Im done with this hospital. And demons. And magic. And drama. And secrets. Most of all, I'm done with this town.

I'm done with it. Magic is just annoying. I can count on my fingers the entire rest towns IQ level put together. Not to mention whenever we get some family bonding time, an Illuminacho shows up and rains on our parade. Or causes an Oddpocolapse. I'm. Done.

I swear I'm moving.

"So how get her back?" I ask Ford 4 days later. Apparently they spent most of it here too. Poison, fire, gas. The works. He just shakes his head.

"We don't know what we're doing. Last time we tried one of these it just got worse. We need to negotiate. And if we can, get Bill outta town." He says.

"I know that but what is the plan?" I ask.

"Cross our fingers and hope for the best?" He offers. I can't believe him. We made a house into a robot to rescue him, you'd think he'd have an idea, at least.

"I might have one, actually." Dipper raises his hand. I'd forgotten the kids were there.

"I was in the Fearamid. Its smaller. And theres only one entrance. But I got an idea." He stumbles over his words.

"Well what are you waiting for, a kiss on the cheek? Spit it out!" I snap, instantly feeling bad but I won't say anything. I got a reputation to uphold. What were we talking about again?

Then a somewhat familiar voice speaks.

"All ideas are good ideas. Worst case scenario we use combustible lemons." It says. I turn and look.

"Ford? Is that you?" I shakily reach out for him. It can't be-

"Stanley! Is something wrong?" He asks wearily.

"30 long years! How are you here? Oh, brother I'm sorry! I missed you!" I start to tear up.

"Stanley, I've been back for years. Is something wrong?" He asks.

"Its Bills curse!" Mabel exclaims. Bill. BILL! That stupid triangle demon! I shake my head.

"That was weird. Like I forgot- never mind that. We need to stop him. What's the plan kid?" I turn to Dipper.

Dipper goes on to explain the plan. Its really good, and its one of those things you just can't be left out of. Once you even get a hint at it, you just gotta know. Its brilliant. You'd think it took him years to come up with!

So no, Im not telling you.

Bill isn't the only one who likes suffering.

The best part is, even if Bill knows the plan, we can still beet him. Time to rescue my grand niece. I don't envy Bill.