i want to kry-oz (x reader)

《 chpt one 》

My brother continued to neaten up the recording area as I sat in his chair.

"[Y/n], did I tell you what we're doing today?" He moved the microphone down slightly, plugging in another headset for himself. I put on the main one and shrugged.

"Probably. I completely forgot."

"Perfect." Pressing the record button on his keyboard, he moved it to his lap.

While he began the outro, I pulled a bag of Zigzag Twisties out of my bag beside my feet and loudly opened it up.

"... And I'd like to introduce--"

With the speed of light, I swiveled my chair over, knocking my brother out of the way to crunch down on some Twisties as close to his microphone as humanly possible. "Munch muuuuunch, bay-bie!"

"... My sister, [Y/n]." He moved the microphone away from me, very selfishly. His fans deserved some ASMR content, amirite?

"Yessir." I swallowed my mouthful and used his pants to cleanse my hands of the cheese dust. He was disgusted. Perfect. "My onlyfans is linked below, only four dollars and twenty cents a month!"

"No it isn't, please stop." His awkward laughter was contagious, earning myself a giggle. He buried his face in his hands from pure embarassment. "A-anyways, we were GOING to mess around with the guys in UNO, but I don't think she deserves to meet them--"

"Yes the fuck I do, bitch." I hesitated, before yanking the microphone bacm over. I cupped my hands around the tip and whispered. "I'm ready."

"Stop it, dumbass." He hissed.

My brother? Jaren. Known as Smii7y (smitty) by the wide populous on YouTube. Myself? His sister, [Y/n] Smith. Its wicked.

"Says you, double-dumbass. Also, how are we tricking your boys? Am I your girlfriend, or a crazed fan, or--"

"Huh. You know what? Let's improvise." Smii7y replied. "Do as you please. You've proven unworthy, but at this point I have lost the reigns."

"Perf."

And so, he joined a call with his mates.

"Yo, Smiiiiìiiity."

"Ready to get fricked in UNO?"

He looked to me for input, and I shrugged. He glared at me. "Okay, but what if I fricked YOU, dude?"

I managed to soundlessly put my chips away at this point and listened in. He taught me the ways of his friends in the call this morning;

A male named BigJigglyPanda, or Anthony, was the second to speak up. He was pretty wild, not gonna lie.

The first to speak was I Am Wildcat, also known as Tyler. He was, by far, the scariest (in my opinion). Apparently his schtick is a pig mask and a helmet. A nightmare.

There was someone else who hadn't joined yet... Kryoz? He paints his nails. That's all I know about him, other than that there's a running gag about him and my brother being the same person.

I zoned back in, seeing that they had started. My brother had a terrible hand.

As he yakked on, I stood and approached the door. He looked back at me in confusion, before seeing me swing the door open and slamming it behind me.

"Fuck, babe, turn that shit off! What did I tell you about leaving salami between the couch cushions?!" I did my best to stomp over, almost tripping in the process. The wires connected to the headset swung about as I carried on. "Oh, you're recording. Shit, edit that out."

The entire call was silent, Anthony having picked up his fifth card this round before he spoke up. "Dude, what the fuck?"

"I'm so, sooo fucking sorry, guys. I'll be right back--" He got up and distanced himself from the mic, standing beside me. "Don't yell that shit out, oh my god."

"It's not my fault, its a mess downstairs!" I held in my laughter. "The couch is already so stained! You have to buy a new one soon, or I'll go burn that shit outside. Don't test me, I swear to God. Kevin already got a flamethrower--"

"Who the fuck is Kevin?!" He yelled, picking up a chair and semi-tossing it. It was really just an awkward pick-up-and-drop, but you know what it was supposed to be. Dramatic. "Are you cheating on me?!"

"... I'm going to order pizza and let you play with your little fuckin' orgy, and then we'll tall about this." Afterward, I immediately clamped my hand over my mouth. Then, I opened and closed the door to give the effect that I had left.

Next thing you know, I'm bent over the chair clutching my stomach as I silently cackled.

"Fuck, dumb slut..." He couldn't hide his smile, either, sitting back down and leaning back into the mic. The entire time, they were silent.

Then, he played a card and the conversation picked up.

"Bro, you good?" I believe this was Kryoz, or John, who inquired. "That sounded baaad."

"Hell, man, just edit it out or something..." Smii7y sighed, before using his excitement to pretend to be pretending to be happy. You feel me?

"Wildcat, do you have a plus two?" He threw his head back, covering his mouth.

"... N-no, but--"

"Too bad." My brother was a menace. "Get fricked."

"... Did she say something about salami and couch cushions?!" Anthony's laugh was as amazing as fortold. "HahAa, oh my god!"

"Fuck up, man."

"Wait, what the fuck?! Wasn't that your girlfriend?" Kryoz asked. "Just fuck her, dude."

"She never wants to, and now I know why, so shut up and pretend I never had a girlfriend."

"Yeah, because he's never h-had one." I piped in, before we collapsed in a fit of laughter. "Get cucked, nerds!"

"Aw, what the fuck, man? Who's this bitch?!" Wildcat yelled, playing a yellow five. I quickly assisted my brother, jumping in with his own.

"I'm his cousin." I winked to absolutely nobody, but it sent people reeling.

"Literally, I thought... like, you really fucked your couch." Kryoz commented.

"We never said he didn't, I'm just not his girlfriend." I moved the microphone toward me. "It's canon, guys."

"Fuck you, no its not!" He stole the mic back and sighed. "Anyways, this is my sister. She got stuck over here for quarantine, and I thought we'd fuck with y'all."

"Howdy doo dee, fellow men." My hair flew into my face, to which I moved behind my ear. "Do you also skateboard?"

"What?" Wildcat wheezed. "Who the fuck???"

"No swearing in my christian household, fuckin' asshole."

The call went silent, Kryoz and I's collective third eye opening. We were perfectly synchronized, until he had to pick up.

"On my god, your cousin-sister-girlfriend made me miss my turn!"

It's kinda good that I'm stuck here.