Forged in Fire (Forgotten Series, #2)

Chapter Fifteen: Part Two

After a few moments the door opened once more and I wanted to groan at the earthy and masculine scent that filled the room. "Go away, Dickhead." I honestly didn't want him to see me in a curled up teary-eyed ball. I felt vulnerable and I didn't feel comfortable to let him see me like that. It would give him ammo, give the bond an opportunity to feed. The fucking thing had gorged itself enough in the past few hours. Dickhead said nothing as he closed the door and made his way over to the bed. I waved my hand in his general direction, as if it would ward him off. "Go away." My croaky voice was muffled by the comforter and I felt embarrassed. I was an Alpha, I wasn't supposed to cry or show emotion, it was what I had been taught my entire life.

The bed dipped and I groaned as I felt him lay down beside me. I could sense about two feet of space between us and I turned my head as I wiped to my eyes, trying to look at him. He was on his side, staring at me with a small frown on his face. His eyes darkened then lightened, he was having another inner battle with his wolf.

He pressed a fist to his chest. "I could feel the hurt." He said it softly and I let out a groan and buried my face back into the bedspread. "I wanted to come right away. I wanted to take it away but Gamgam was with you. I wanted you to let it out where I wasn't." He sounded pained and I frowned and slowly turned my head to look at him. Why on earth would he do that?

His grey eyes locked onto mine and he reached out with his hand before he pulled it back, clenching it into a tight fist, his knuckles white and his eyes darkening once more. "I knew you didn't want anyone else to see that. I didn't want you to think I would use your past to my advantage. I don't want to invade your privacy, not like that." His eyes are showing me the truth of his words. He was giving me space, he was giving me privacy at the expense of his wolf and himself. I knew how the bond must have been gnawing at him, punishing him for his inaction. "But I have to lay here for a while and make sure you are okay. He won't let me do anything else." He said it softly, as if expecting me to shout at him and demand he go away and I wanted to. I didn't want him there but I honestly didn't want to be alone and the bond was affecting me just as much as it was him. I had no choice, not really. It was him or it was death. I wanted to give an unamused laugh at that. It seemed fitting.

I let out a small sigh and he rested his hand in the middle of the space between us. I knew how much his wolf wanted to touch me, to hold me, and I appreciated his restraint in that. I didn't think I was actually ready for the contact his wolf wanted. I stared at the hand and slowly reached out between us with my hand. My heart thumped in my chest and I glanced at him, wondering what I would see in his eyes but they were blank. I swallowed thickly before turning my gaze back to where my hand brushed his. The contact made my skin tingle and I slowly and carefully slid my hand underneath his.

I paused, holding my breath as I waited for the over-whelming intensity to slam into me again, the panic to swamp me so I couldn't breathe. I waited several heartbeats but it never happened and I let the air out in a whoosh. His hand was coarse and rough but it was warm on mine and I could almost feel the bond's contentment with my action. He didn't grasp my hand, he just let his lie still, covering mine but allowing me to retreat if I wished too. I glanced at him and he was looking at his hand with a faint smile on his face. A gleam of happiness at the small touch I had willingly given him.

"I don't like being trapped." The words came out in a whisper and I swallowed hard as his fingers twitched on my hand.

"I know but I can't let you go." There was an edge of finality to his voice that would have rankled me if I hadn't been so emotional but there was nothing I could do about it.

I gave a heavy sigh, "I don't know how to be a mate, Sterling." I said the words softly and his fingers twitched over my hand once more, my own hand twitching in response.