The Beginning (English Version)

Chapter 4

"Taka? ...you're here?" I stammered in complete surprise. He just looked at me in astonishment, thought for a moment... and ran away. "Takahiro!" I pushed Maho roughly aside and stormed after him. "What had he heard? Why did he run away? "Did he think the doctor would come after me? "

My eyes were veiled by the many tears and I hoped that I would not have to follow him around the whole hospital. "Why was everything so fucking complicated? Couldn't he imagine how I felt now?" I was on the verge of despair again and turned the corner.

"Taka!" escaped me.

He stood by the vending machines, with his back to me. I stopped abruptly, for fear he'd keep running. Like in slow motion, he turned around and I noticed his doubtful look. "Please, Mori chan, I need you now," I begged him and took a step towards him. Embarrassed, he ran his hand through his hair and I knew he was fighting with himself. So I tried to give him some security.

"I am so glad you are here," I sniffed. "Damn, babe, I can't do this without you." I ran my arm over my tearful face and wiped away my tears. Suddenly Maho stood behind me and approached my friend with a friendly smile. What was she doing? I stood helplessly beside her and did not know whether to interfere or to trust the doctor.

"Good evening, Mr. Moriuchi. I am Dr. Hinata," she introduced herself and stopped in front of him. "I'm sure you want to know how your brother is." He just nodded. Timidly, I came closer. Maho had done it. Takahiro wouldn't gut more rice. Relieved, I pulled my friend to me and hugged him. A deep sigh escaped me. "I love you," I whispered in his ear, trying not to burst into tears again.

Awkwardly he patted me on the back and did not quite know how to react. "I will leave you alone for a moment and check on the patient. After that I can give you more information," the doctor said and pointed towards the lounge. "If I may ask you to..."

Reluctantly I broke away from my friend. He gently pushed me away, saying, "Come on, Leader San, pull yourself together." Maybe he wanted to lift me up with it, but when he saw my helpless look, he took my hand and squeezed it lightly. With hanging head I followed him and tried to order my confused thoughts. There was no other way. I had to get Taka to support his brother, otherwise I would lose one of them.

This time I closed the big glass door of the recreation room behind me and remained standing undecidedly. My singer stared out of the window and I felt an unpleasant tension between us. I sighed and asked myself: "If Maho hadn't interfered before, would Taka still be here at all? Why was he so terribly jealous, so suspicious? How long would it go on like this, now I still have the strength to bring him back to me again and again. But one day I will get tired of all this ... and then ... Basically I should be grateful to Dr Hinata. She made it easier for me."

With this realization, I stepped behind my singer and carefully put my arms around his upper body. Only when I tenderly whispered his name did he relax and lean against me. "Toru?" ... "Hmm?" I didn't want to say anything, I just didn't know yet how to explain about his brother. "Toru, ...?" he asked again and turned to me. His big, dark eyes fixed mine.

"Who do you love more?"

Confused, I shook my head. "Takahiro, what's this question? ... Hiroki collapsed in my arms, I was scared shitless that he ... ... You only think about yourself?"

He lowered his head and hummed: "No, ... I'm not, Toru. I'm thinking about us." Now he clenched his hands into fists and sparkled at me. "Hiro is trying to break us up. He's... a sneaky little snake and he...", "Taka!" I cut him off. "Don't talk nonsense. He is your brother. Have you no sympathy at all?" I snapped at him. I shook him lightly on his shoulders, stunned. "How can you say such a thing? Now! In a situation like this... I looked at him sadly. He had put his hands in his trouser pockets and returned my gaze.