Living With The Walkerson Boys (ON HOLD)

Chapter 11

"DON'T EVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN ASHLEIGH! YOU HAVE RUINED EVERYTHING!" screamed Jack, his face streaming with tears. God, I had to fuck it up, didn't I?

"Jack! Jack, please.. don't leave.. me. Don't Jack, we can fix this!" i pleaded, through desperate sobs.

"No Ashleigh. You're just not worth it.." and with that he walked away, into the pouring, sweet rain.

And then I woke up.

Oh. My God. It was a dream, it was a dream. Thankfully it was a dream. I didn't do anything to fuck up my relationship with Jack. I thought this while turning on my side, and came face to face with Jack's back. His back rising and falling. He was sleeping. Naked. With me. Naked.

"Fuck." I whispered heavily, I could already feel sweat forming on my head.

I'd only gone and went to every base apart from the furthest one with my best friend! My best fucking friend! Oh how it was all coming back to me now. And it had felt so right? I'd been fooled into thinking I liked his brother, then convinced I liked my best friend! Jack kissed me, why? Does he have feelings for me? Thoughts crept into my mind, my inner goddess was hugging herself, my subconscious on the other hand? Gloating. Im starting to think theres something wrong with me, playing with my best friend? I don't know if I like him like that, and I don't know if he likes me, was he just trying to get Logan back? Or was he really - oh shit, he's waking up.

"Mmm, Ashleigh. Hey. Oh shit. Hey.." he sat up and quickly put the covers over him, blushing. He scratched the back of his neck and blinked furiously. These were all the things he did when he was nervous, minus the cover-pulling.

"Hey."

Silence.

"Last night was..uhh, it was good Ashleigh."

Oh shit. He liked it. Am I happy? Sad? Agh. Ok, what I need to do is work out how I felt about it. At the time I loved it, it felt right and good. So good. But now.. I can't help but feel like we rushed it too much, like I seem to be doing with all people right now. And with me living with the boys, is it really the right time, if ever? Shit, I've got to stop thinking and just say what comes out.

"Jack, it was amazing. But, what were we doing?" I say, throwing on my top and lying on my front, leaning my head on my hands, my elbows on the bed. I was guessing Jack was thinking the same thing as he was shaking his head, agreeing.

"Why did you kiss me Jack?"

He paused, thinking about his answer. Then he shook his head and shut his eyes firmly.

"I kissed you because I realised that you with Logan made me... seriously jealous. And not just the protective brother jealous. My heart... contracted from its home when I saw you too, especially when he was practically raping you."

"Come on Jack he was not raping me!"

"Yeah well he was forcing himself on you. No one does that!"

"Well you certainly did," I instantly regretted saying it as I saw the disgust on Jack's face, "wait, Jack, I take that back, you didn't do anything of the sort. I know you didn't."

No one said anything for a long time, Jack pulled on his boxers, getting up from the bed and ran his hands through his hair.

"I've wanted to fuck you for about two months, ok? I never did anything about it because... I only lusted over you. You got seriously beautiful, and I see you in your underwear and -" he moved himself onto the bed, kneeling on it and grabbing my hands making me kneel too, thankfully I'd put on underwear just before, "I, I just wanted you, on my bed, in my house. Seeing you with Logan made me so angry I just.. I had to do something before you went back to him. And after last night, the Liam thing... I just don't know if what we're doing is starting a relationship, or just getting something out of our systems?"