Help Me Make it Through the Night (Everlark Fanfic)

Chapter 23: Not All Scars Heal

Katniss' POV

I wake up and reach my hand out, trying to find Peeta's warmth. But he's already awake, Getting ready for his day at the bakery. It finally opened last week after a month of hard work from Peeta, myself, and the building crew of District 12. It is very popular. Peeta said he had never seen so many people in the bakery, even when his father owned it.

I hear our shower running and know that Peeta hasn't left yet. I roll out of bed with a groan and gather some clothes so I can get a shower after him. I hear the water turn off and a few minutes later the door swings open and Peeta walks out.

"Hey, your up earlier than usual," Peeta says walking over to where I'm sitting on our bed.

"I just felt like getting up," I tell him,"and now," I say as I stand up,"I'm going to go take a shower."

"And I'll go start breakfast," he says kissing my forehead and walking out the door and down the stairs, making the uneven thumping sound from his prosthetic leg that I've grown so used to.

I take a shower and get dressed in a tank top and shorts. I walk out of the bathroom and over to the small vanity in the corner of the bedroom. I sit down and begin to brush my hair. I'm interrupted when Buttercup jumps up on the counter and nocks over the Memory Book Peeta and I had started.

"You stupid fleabag!" I yell at him as I push him off. When I do he reaches back up and scratches my arm.

"Ow! Your lucky I've learned to love you, you stupid cat," I hiss at him as I reach down to pick up the book. It's open to a picture Peeta sketched of Prim and her goat, Lady. I yelp and jerk back as I see a drop of blood fall on the page next to it. I look at my arm and see the Buttercup got me pretty good. But I begin shaking for a different reason. His scratch is right along the scar left from when Johanna cut out my tracker, almost tracing it and causing a thin line of blood to begin to form.

I gently run my finger across it, a silent tear running down my check. I look at how ugly it is. It will never disappear, never go away. I can never forget I left him. I lay my head on the table and begin sobbing into my arms. I don't hear Peeta call me. I don't even hear him stumble up the steps. I don't even feel he presence until I feel comforting arms wrap around me.

"Katniss," he says," baby, what's wrong?" I look up at him, with my puffy red eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

"I left you behind," I sob, more tears building up on my lashes threatening to spill.

"When?" he asks," When did you leave me behind?"

"That last night in the Quell. I left you behind. I didn't protect you. That was all I wanted. To keep you safe. And I didn't. I left you behind and Snow got you and you were tortured and hijacked until you weren't even the same person anymore. I got you back but it took so long for me to get you to trust me again. Why couldn't I be the one in your shoes," I say laying my head down again, not wanting Peeta to have to face me, a pitiful monster who left him behind. He lifts my chin up and trains his piercing blue eyes on my dull grey ones.

"Katniss, none of that was your fault! The others wouldn't let us stay together. You were forced to leave me behind. You couldn't have known what would happen to me and I would never let you take my place in the Capital. We can't change the past. We can try to get past it." He says.

"But I can't Peeta!" I say as I hold out my arm for him to see," this scar reminds me everyday that I left you, that I'm the monster that let this happen to you." he shakes his head and pushes up the sleeves of his long sleeve T-shirt.

"You really think that your scars make you a monster," he asks me. I simply nod my head and continue to trace the jagged wound on my arm, that had stopped bleeding. His hand reaches out and grips my arm completely concealing it from view.

"Katniss," Peeta says, "your scars show your bravery, that you have been able to survive all the awful things that have happened to you," he lets go of my wrist as I turn to face him And sets both his arms, palms up, on my lap,"if you want to see the mark of a monster just look at my wrists."

I look down and see strait, thick scars on each of his wrists. The marks from the handcuffs when he would flex his wrists into the metal so much that they bled. I remember the night in Tigris' basement, when I cleaned and dressed them and tried to get him to let me leave the cuffs off. I remember he told me that the pain kept him sane.

"Peeta, I would never see you as a monster," I tell him.

"Then you should understand why I don't see you as one," he says standing up,"Now I have to go open up the bakery. There are some cheese buns waiting for you downstairs. I'll be home by 5:00." Peeta kisses me and starts to walk out of out room.

"Peeta?" I call out.

"What?" he says turning back around.

"I love you," I say smiling.

"I love you too, Katniss," he says smiling and walks out with Buttercup following him, probably to try and get some food before Peeta leaves. I look back down at my scar and just shake my head smiling as I get up and make my way down stairs to see Peeta off and get some breakfast.

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Hey sorry it took so long. Ive had a really busy week and with Homecoming and writing my first chapter to my Peeta's POV hunger games. Yeah it's on my profile and called The Baker's Son. I hope to update it today so maybe you guys can have two chapters of it to read by the time you read this. Before you ask, homecoming was awesome. The last song of the night was "Friends in Low Places" by the always amazing Garth Brooks! My favorite song of all time. If you've never heard it. Please check it out. You will find it to be a song that will cheer you up when you feel down. 22k is awesome.

Love y'all
Rock on!
- Kayla