The Worst In Me

17 - Sang

"But Sissy, why do we have to leave Mommy?" Noah asks, looking almost as frantic as I feel from his place in the backseat.

"To keep us safe. And to keep her safe. Please, handsome, Sissy can't handle anymore questions right now, but I promise I'll tell you more after we stop by the house, pick up a few things, and leave. You have to trust me on this one, No. Just know that everything is going to be okay, and Mommy will be fine."

He looks hesitant to let it go, but does so anyways, despite how hard it is for his super curious self. I can feel the raging headache trying to take over, but luckily we arrive home just a moment later.

Thank God for the medical kit I keep in my trunk. If it weren't for that, the amount of blood I'd have lost by now would be staggering. That doesn't stop the intangible knife from drilling into my head though, or the throbbing of my entire left arm. Or the fact that my favorite fucking sweater is ruined. Oh! And who can forget: the fourteen extremely hot—I mean dangerous—criminals that are after me right now. Life is just fucking peachy.

I help Noah out of the car and make a bee line for the house, telling him to get together a few outfits and his toothbrush and a couple other essential things. When we're inside, he does just that, and I'm off to pack together some things myself as quickly as humanly possible, including the stack of a couple thousand dollars I kept hidden in the secret compartment in my closet. Just in case something like this ever happened, and I'm so happy I planned for the worst.

Unfortunately, with my back turned to the door in my room, packing the bag that sits atop my small bed, I don't see the person swiftly approaching behind me, but I can feel them, can feel the air shift and hear their near-silent footsteps. Oh, they're good... but I'm better.

I turn around, swinging my good arm out to block the one they had in the air, and I knee them in the balls before I even catch a glance at the stranger's face. A loud grunt sounds throughout my minuscule room, and that's precisely when my nose is assaulted with the very familiar scent of vanilla and sugary sweetness.

"Fuck!" Luke hisses out, doubling over with his hands on his junk.

"Shit! I'm so sorry, Luke. I didn't mean— Wait, what the fuck are you doing in my house?!" I screech, recapturing his attention. I'm not even worried about Rebecca waking up and catching us. Every day, about an hour before this time, she takes her meds, and she doesn't wake up for hours. It's not even twelve o'clock yet, and she's doped up.

He lifts his head to look up at me through pain-clouded, chocolate eyes, and I shove down the feeling of guilt. He's the one in my house, so why the hell do should I feel guilty?

"Hey there, Cupcake. Just stopped by to say hi," he groans, slowly standing back up to his full height, one hand still covering his jewels.

"Get. Out," I grit between clenched teeth. "My brother is—"

"Lukey?" Noah asks, stunned as he turns the corner to find Luke in my room. The latter turns with a huge smile on his face, as if his precious baby-maker wasn't just assaulted, as if it won't be again if he takes one more step towards my only family.

"Hey, Big-man! Miss me?"

Noah shakes his head a little, as if to say, "What the heck is going on?" But instead of that, he replies, "Uh-huh. But why are you here, Lukey? Sissy didn't say you were coming." He then turns his big green eyes to me, looking so curious and hopeful at the same time. "Is that why we're packing, Sissy? So we can go have a sleepover at Lukey's house?"

I hate that I have to let him down and lie to him, but no way am I going to ruin his innocence before he's even had the chance to live. "I'm afraid not, pumpkin, but maybe we can do that soon. Did you finish packing?" If I weren't so concerned with his purity and happiness right now, I'd never talk about leaving with him in front of one of the men that are surely going to try and follow me to do God-knows-what with me. I'm assuming kill me, but I really freaking hope not. That would totally ruin my day. Death is such a mood-killer.

He shakes his head again. "Not yet, but I'll go finish now. See ya later, Lukey!" And then he's around the corner again to pack up his stuff in his room.

"Please," I find myself pleading to Luke. He turns around to look at me, a strange emotion in his surgery-sweet, chocolate eyes, his shoulders tense. "Please don't kill me. If not for me, then for Noah. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't give a single shit what happens to me, but I can't leave him. I'm the only one that really loves him. That provides for him and cares for him and hangs his finger paintings on the walls because his own mother won't."

"I'm not here to kill you, Sang." I don't think I've ever seen him look so sincere. I mean, I hardly know the guy, but I can still tell that this level of seriousness isn't a normal occurrence for Lucian.

"Then what are you here for?"

"To take you with me," he answers softly, shoulders relaxing. "There are three other men waiting outside right now. Three men that don't know you, so they won't hesitate to kill you if they feel like they need to. But that's not what I want, so I convinced them to let me come inside and talk to you myself." I tense up like he did just moments ago at his blunt words. He notices and his voice somehow becomes even more gentle as he takes a small step towards me. And another. And another. And when he finds that, for whatever fucking reason, I still haven't moved a single muscle, he takes the last one, closing the gap between us.

One of his hands reaches up to cup my cheek, his thumb gliding over my skin in a smooth caress. There's nothing normal or gentle or even slightly affectionate about this whole situation we've been thrust into, but this moment right here—with just Luke and me—it's all of that and more. It reminds me of those last few minutes with Gabriel, those too-short minutes of bliss.

"Cupcake, I need you to listen to me. Please, just hear me out before making a rash decision and ruining whatever it is that is between us. I know you feel it, just like me."

I can't stop myself from nodding because right now, I'm too in shock to do much else. And besides, he's completely right. I do feel it, but that doesn't mean that I want to.

"Good girl," he grins, some kind of spark lighting in his eyes. It isn't like Victor's spark in the way that his eyes are full of heat and fire. But it is very similar—more like that spark I saw in Corey and Raven's eyes when I first met them, the one that I vaguely recognized in the rest of them but just couldn't really admit it to myself until now.

And I don't think the reason I didn't fully admit it to myself is because I feel a strange pull to all of them, a kind of attraction that I haven't felt with anyone else. Not with even Gina. Hell, it isn't even because they seem so genuinely kind and simple and honest, except for when their family is threatened.

It's because their eyes aren't the only ones I've seen with that same wicked, depraved spark. It's been there ever since that day I caught Rebecca ripping the roses out of our garden. Ever since she gave me my first punishment. Ever since I lost that last little bit of innocence I had left. Ever since I vowed to keep Noah's intact, no matter what it cost me, because I know what it's like to lose it and forever wish for it back.

I see it every day when I wake up in the morning, and every night before I go to bed. It's been there for so long, staring back at me through the mirror. I can't hide from my reflection, just like I can't hide from the truth it uncovers.

That darkness in my eyes, it isn't just from the years of sadness and abuse I've had to endure. It isn't from the loneliness or the desperation. It's from monster that lives inside me, the one I keep locked in the deepest parts of my mind so that it can never escape.

These boys don't just call to me because they're kind and funny, and—I'll admit—sexy as hell. They call to me because they have demons, too. And mine are ready to come out and play.
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Short chapter, I know, but I wasn't even planning on updating for another day or two. But when I saw all the comments on the last chapter, I just needed to get another one out for you all!

Oh, and for the lovely gals who made me laugh about Luke popping up, this is for you. I knew I was going to write about one of the guys showing up, but I didn't know who. Thanks for unknowingly convincing me to write about Luke. I felt like he was the perfect boy for this.

Another update coming soon (i.e. whenever I decide it's okay to procrastinate some more because finals week is kicking me in the ass and I just want it to be OVER)

Much love,
Tori <3