The Evil Within

Painful Facts

She wanted to go out with him, damn it all. Amanda wanted nothing more than to feel like a normal teenager. She didn't want the burden of this curse looming over her shoulder anymore, if it even existed in the first place. It had been more than a month since Adam started showing interest in her and so far he hasn't gone missing yet. Out of all the guys who tried to woo Amanda, he certainly lasted the longest. Maybe there was hope after all.

Amanda consulted Emily one night as they were hanging out at Amanda's room. She confided to Emily that she was planning to talk to Adam; get to know him a bit more and maybe give this a shot.

She was feeling optimistic. She couldn't fight the blush that bloomed on her cheeks as she thought of Adam's smile whenever he would catch sight of her. Yesterday, he spotted her from the cafeteria line and he raised a hand to give her a small wave. It took all of her will power not to return the smile and wave back and instead duck her head and hide her blush.

Yes, she had a good feeling about this. Maybe she had a shot at being a normal teenager after all. But all these happy thoughts scattered away when Amanda looked up to find Emily's troubled expression reflected on the mirror. Maybe she was wrong to let hope take root in her heart.

"It's nice to hear that you're still open to the idea of a relationship Ames," Emily turned on her seat and faced Amanda.

"I hear a but coming," Amanda said with a grimace.

"But," Emily began and Amanda sighed, "I worry about you. What if he goes missing or something bad happens to him and you end up blaming yourself again?"

Amanda remained silent. She just kept staring at the coffee stain on her carpet and rubbing her arms that did nothing to push back the chill that settled on her bones.

"I just don't want you to get hurt again Ames, you've been through so much already. Are you mad at me?"

Amanda shook her head. She knew Emily was just looking out for her and with good reason. She must have been stupid to think that things would turn out differently this time. Who's to say that everything won't go to hell once she'd start going out with Adam? Who can guarantee his safety? Who's to say that this curse won't claim him next? There's no telling and Amanda shouldn't gamble his life on a measly What If.

Amanda complerely understood where Emily was coming from so she said, "Never Emily. Never at you."

Emily sat next to her on the bed, "promise?"

"Promise," Amanda whispered as she let Emily envelope her in a warm hug.

Emily was right, Amanda thought to herself that night as she was about to fall asleep. Foolish. How utterly foolish of her. And not to mention, selfish as well. She let her emotions get the best of her, letting it cloud her judgement. She shouldn't be willing to compromise Adam's safety just because nothing bad had happened yet. And nothing bad happening meant that her evasive maneuvers were working and that she should maintain her distance if she didn't want another name added to the list of people needlessly dying because of her.

She was used to this; had accepted this reality a long time ago. The reality that she was going to be alone for the rest of her life. She didn't even have the option of becoming an eccentric cat lady because even her pets died. Amanda grimly wondered if her caregiver would also die for taking care of her when she grew old. If that would happen then she'd have no choice but to live with one of her siblings and Amanda would very much rather die than be a burden to them.

She couldn't risk anyone getting close for fear that they too might fall victim to her curse.

Amanda knew this, yet why did it still hurt to think about it?