I sat down at a corner of the school's rooftop. Thinking about things that are bugging me lately. Things that I should and should've not feel.
My boyfriend for 9 months and I decided to cut off ties last week. It wasn't that serious. We weren't in love with each other. We like each other, yes.
But I have seen him couple of times going out with random women within the university. It doesn't hurt because I like him, but it hurts because my ego was wounded. So bad.
So I confronted him. He told me sorry and understood. We broke up and stayed as friends. No harm. And I told him my apologies, too.
Because I fell in love with someone else while I was together with him.
And that's when Jeon Jungkook enters the picture. He's the closest guy friend I have. We started of as being seat mates on Chemistry 6 months ago. We chat a lot. We share the same interests.
But 4 months ago.. when he was tutoring me for our final exams, I looked at him and something has changed. Not with him. Not with us. But within me.
"Lisa," he scolded me, then adjusted his glasses. "Please focus,"
I gulped. What the hell am I feeling? Why do I feel like I'm under his spell? Why is my heart beating faster? Am I gonna die?
Then I looked at him again. He looked at me and smiled.
I'm doomed.
That's why I agreed to break up with my ex. I feel like I'm cheating when I'm with Jungkook. Because he's my boyfriend and I'm in love with someone else.
But he said it was okay. He even admitted that he knows that I'm in love with Jungkook and that made me sorry even more.
I cried. He was still my boyfriend and we broke up. He was my bestfriend. Jungkook comforted me but I cannot say anything to him. He might feel different and reject me. Might as well stay being friends. A very close one.
The door of the rooftop opened and Jungkook stepped out of it.
While he is walking towards me, I can see his face full of worries. Is he worried for me? Why?
He scooted down at my level and sighed, "You're crying again?" then he wiped my tears.
I didn't realize that I already am crying. Maybe because of my conscience against my ex, or maybe the worries of Jungkook not feeling the same way as I am. I have no idea.
I chuckled, "Sorry," then I sniffed.
He sat at my side and put my head at the top of my shoulders, "Still sorting out your feelings for your ex?" he asked. Oh, he didn't know that we weren't serious. He just knew who my ex was and that's all.
"Huh?" of course not. I'm thinking about you, dimwit.
"Lisa, can you.." he took my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. "Can you sort your feelings for me, too?" I looked at him with wide eyes.
What is he saying? Is he trying to set my hopes up? Because I'm gonna die!
Does he.. "Lisa I like you," he confessed. "I like you so much. Now that I have the opportunity to make you mine, I grabbed it. Before anyone else does." he paused and looked at me. "You're crying again," he shook his head. "If you continue to cry, I might think that you like me, too," he chuckled.
I can't breathe. Earlier, I was really afraid that he might not feel the same way. But now..
Damn you, Jeon. You're making it harder for me to breathe.
He kneeled in front of me and held my cheeks with both of his hands, "So stop thinking of him, baby," he laughed. "Damn, it feels so good calling you that,"
We stared each other for seconds until I broke it because of the intensity of his stare. It made me awkward, goodness!
But he held my face up once again, "I'll think of you. So think of me, too," he leaned down and kissed my nose, surprising me. "I'll long for you. So long for me, too,"
***
happy 7k! :) thank you.
unedited. all mistakes are mine.
